Please, Danica Patrick, move to NASCAR

By Mike Smith (contact)

Friday, July 24, 2009 | 8:56 a.m.

Will Danica Patrick become a Sprint Cup Driver? I hope so.

I don’t want the Indy Racing League driver to make the switch because I think it would boost NASCAR’s TV viewership, put more fans in the stands, add diversity to the driver roster or because she’s too talented not to be in a Cup car. My reasons are much more personal.

Allow me to explain.

I have tried to impress upon my family that race day is a day of supreme importance for me. That means that when I’m sitting in the living room watching the race there will be no requests by children to be driven to the mall. There will be no requests by the wife to take out the trash or fix leaking faucets. And there will be no requests to take the dog for a walk. In addition, I do not answer the doorbell, take phone calls, reply to text messages or speak while a race is in progress.

Unfortunately, my demands are rarely met and I’m forced to suffer the many interruptions that result from being the only man in my house. And as I sit there, surrounded by the women in my family, I am constantly bombarded with the same observations week after week. “That Kasey Kahne is so cute,” one daughter will say. “I want to be Kasey Kahne’s girl friend,” another daughter will yell. “He’s sexy!” my wife comments.

How can I compete with this? What can I say? Am I supposed to come back by saying that I think Tony Stewart is “hot!”? That’s not going to happen.

So, Danica, please hurry up and make your move to NASCAR.

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