Friday, Feb. 13, 2009 | midnight
I don’t write show reviews, per se, but … “Wayne Brady gets five stars from The Kats Report!” And I don’t write specifically to be blurbed on promotional posters, but … “I regret that I have but two thumbs to turn up for Wayne Brady! – John Katsilometes, The Kats Report”
That reminds me of the time I was blurbed on a Blue Man Group promotional poster and print ads. I’d written a story about the Blues Brothers after they started at the Luxor, and I was quoted as crowing: “Blue Man Group: Love it!” Somewhere in the story I wrote “love,” and somewhere else, “it,” along with the requisite reference to “Blue Man Group” and, thus, a blurb assembling all of those words was used to promote the show. I was going to demand an explanation as to how that happened, but gosh, Mom was so proud.
In any event, I caught Wayne Brady’s show at The Venetian last night and this guy is dangerous. He’s the most under-appreciated performer on the Strip, and I include the little guy who dresses up as a leprechaun at O’Shea’s in that statement.
I jotted my favorite Brady bunch of non sequiturs from last night’s typically frenetic-paced exercise in improv. Here they are:
• “Old factory? The word you want is, ‘olfactory.”
• “You’re like a bovine ‘Quincy.’ That’s for everyone over 46.”
• “You look relaxed. By the way, I killed your dog.”
• “You will be the Harriet Tubman of the Oompa- Loompas!”
• “I took eight Viagra, two Ambien and wound up in prison!”
• “I don’t mean to disparage the fine art of chicken farmery, sir.”
• “Whatever has given these birds the flu has given you the power to make pasta come outta your a**!”
There you have it. Blurb away.
Other things I can note:Worth noting, again, is that Brady was once a performer at the long-closed MGM Grand Theme Park. Part of his act was to perform as a black Elvis. He killed. ... I am hearing that Bobby Slayton is about to be finished at Hooters. I’m sad at this, unless Bobby is OK with it, then I am OK with it. If he leaves there, the little showroom at the afore-referenced O’Shea’s would be a good fit for him – if parent company Harrah’s would be all right with Slayton’s acidic brand of stand-up (“You know the easiest job in the world? A police sketch artist in Hong Kong!”). Slayton’s show is great for fans, but no so great for audience members who have comp tickets as part of the hotel’s free-ticket promotion. It is even less great if these fans are of any ethnicity, gender or sexual persuasion, at all. … Come to think of it, maybe Slayton should meet P Moss and get something going at Double Down Saloon or Frankie’s Tiki Lounge. … The debut of “The Lion King” at Mandalay Bay has been nudged back to May 5 and the official opening is May 15. The reason given is “to accommodate the spectacular set,” which is the same excuse I gave for missing my last dental cleaning. But I’m told there is nothing to be alarmed about, producers are just making sure all the fabric, planks and plastic are in order. Remember, “Believe” didn’t open as scheduled, and that show turned out great (cough). … I’m not telling you how I know this, but onetime mobster Henry Hill, the central character played by Ray Liotta in “GoodFellas” and a frequent Vegas visitors in those days, is often asked to autograph shovel handles for people who know who he is. If you’ve seen the film, you know why. … Count my friend Karin Tomcik , PR ace for Cirque du Soleil here in Vegas, as probably the person most thrilled that Sir Paul McCartney is playing The New Joint. As I’ve written before, Tomcik is a Sasha-Fiercely devoted Macca fan who was McCartney’s publicist escort in June 2007 at the one-year anniversary party for “Love,” and the stars are still in her eyes. … My idea that McCartney should enter into talks with AEG Live/Concerts West to play The Colosseum at Caesars once Elton John leaves is gaining traction. By “gaining traction” I mean, “being universally derided.” But one can hope, and hey wouldn’t THAT be a boost to the economy. … If shows continue to peel away from the embattled Riviera, I’m going to pitch my own new production there: “Two Guys Thumb-Wrestling: The Musical.” … My “Nebulae: The LifeForce” reference in my blog about Alicia Jacobs and puppy Star has led to a few people backing me up that it was indeed the worst show ever on the Strip. I haven’t seen them all, but if you’ve got a better one (and by better, I mean worse), lay it on me.