‘Absinthe’ to Cosmopolitan? Ha! And dual VegasVille action with Kelly and Clint Holmes

By John Katsilometes

Thursday, April 2, 2015 | 2:35 p.m.

The Kats Report Bureau at this writing is Snacks at Bellagio. I have no compelling reason to be in this resort or eatery other than I was running from one assignment to another — driving, actually — and just pulled into Bellagio.

This sort of impromptu maneuver is what makes living in Las Vegas so wonderful. Just pull into one of the world’s great hotels to flip open the MacBook Air and catch up on work.

Snacks is convenient, a walk-up food-and-beverage enclave just off the casino floor. But it is not cheap. A fresh fruit bowl of meager inspiration is $8. That’s absurd, I tell you! You can keep the plastic bowl, though.

As the tourists line up for fruity satisfaction, let’s deliver these orders, for here:

• Ross Mollison promised a surprise announcement before midnight at the fourth-anniversary performance of “Absinthe” at Caesars Palace on Wednesday night, and he followed through. Speaking from the stage during the show’s toga party at The Gossy Room (Cleopatra’s Barge, for those steeped in Las Vegas history), the “Improssorio” and founder of production company Spiegelworld, Mollison said he had a big announcement about the show: “Next year, ‘Absinthe’ is moving to the Cosmopolitan.”

When he said that, my first thought was, “Wow, I guess we know the settlement.” There was a time such a move would have made sense, but that time was not April Fools’ Day of 2015. And it was a funny joke — for those who got it.

• As the Las Vegas version of “Absinthe” swung through its anniversary party, Mollison and members of the show’s creative team were aglow with robust reviews for the show’s Australian production. Chris Boyd of the Australian newspaper, the country’s leading print pub, opened his review with: “Photographs don’t capture it, perhaps can’t capture it, but ‘Absinthe’ is an extraordinarily polished, dynamic, bullet train of a show.”

The original Gazillionaire and Penny Pibbets, who powered the Las Vegas production with such verve and bombast, host the show now playing at Crown Resort in Melbourne. The reviewer notes: “Our MC, The Gazillionaire, would have to be the most foul-mouthed, offensive and scintillatingly bigoted comic I have ever encountered.” And, “His sidekick, Penny Pibbets, adds pornographically detailed rants to the mix. (There was much gasping and face palming from the Saturday night crowd.) Her child-like Yankee drawl makes the monologues sound like mad scenes from a late-1970s teen slasher. With added bodily fluids.”

It is evident that fans Down Under are discovering what we’ve known for four years in Las Vegas: “Absinthe” is the best.

• Kelly Clinton Holmes is facing some rare competition for Las Vegas ticket-buyers Friday night.

And so is her husband, Clint.

For the first time ever for the performing couple, they are booked for ticketed shows on the same night at the same time. At 8 p.m. Friday, Kelly is headlining at Ron DeCar’s Event Center in “The Clinton Club,” joined by comic/singer-songwriter/musician/part-time barista Dennis Blair (tickets are $15, $25 for VIP “Golden Circle” seats, and dinner and cocktails are priced separately; call (702) 384-0771 and go to VivaLasVegasEventCenter). Clinton Holmes will roll out music, comedy and impressions.

I agree with something Wayne Newton once said about Clinton Holmes: She should have her own sitcom. She is fantastic. As usual, Michael Clark from Clinton’s Bootlegger Bistro Monday-night shows serves as keyboardist and music director.

As for Kelly’s husband, Clint … well, he has a great reputation, too. He’s back at Cabaret Jazz in the Smith Center at 8:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday and 2 p.m. Sunday. The theme of his monthly performances is “Songs I Wrote (And a Few I Wish I Had).” This is to be a largely originals-tinged show, with selections from his autobiographical musical “Just Another Man” in the mix (tickets are $37-$46; call (702) 749-2000 and go to TheSmithCenter.com). Deciding between these shows is not an easy call. I resolve it by saying … it’s not an easy call.

• Rachel Swindler reached something of a personal benchmark during “Legends in Concert” on Saturday at Flamingo Las Vegas: She performed so convincingly that she was struck in the face.

Some backstory action: Swindler is an ensemble singer and dancer in the long-running Strip tribute production, which features a resurrection of the zombie dance scene in the Michael Jackson video for “Thriller.” In full costume, Swindler creeps along the edge of the stage (stage left and house right, for a visual) and sometimes startles audience members facing the performance.

This happened at Saturday’s performance when the Zombie Swindler frightened a gentleman seated near the front of the stage. He ducked and threw up a backhand, striking the striking singer in the face.

“A first!” she says.

There was no bloodshed, and the number finished without incident. But for this entertainer, it’s a memory (wait for it) to die for (boom!).

Follow John Katsilometes on Twitter at Twitter.com/JohnnyKats. Also, follow “Kats With the Dish” at Twitter.com/KatsWiththeDish.