Hair-raising 94th for Marty Allen and 1,000 of his friends

By John Katsilometes

Monday, March 28, 2016 | 8:34 p.m.

Marty Allen is taking on one of his favored personas, that of a failed fighter.

His wife, Karon Kate Blackwell, asks the luckless boxer, “How many fights have you had?”

“A hundred!” Allen says.

“And how many have you lost?” Blackwell asks.

“A hundred!” Allen says.

“How do you explain that?” Blackwell asks.

“You can’t win them all!” Allen says.

Now, there are certainly older jokes than that, but not too many of that vintage being told in a ticketed show in Las Vegas. And, there is no older entertainer filling ballrooms than the man born Morten David Alpern on March 23, 1922, in Pittsburgh.

Marty celebrated his 94th birthday in grand fashion Saturday at Grand Ballroom at Rampart Casino at J.W. Marriott Resort & Spa.

The background of that boxing joke reveals much about the man who tells it: It was unveiled for a national audience on CBS on Feb. 16, 1964, during an appearance by Allen and his performing partner Steve Rossi during The Beatles’ second appearance on “The Ed Sullivan Show.”

This was the show broadcast from Deauville Hotel in Miami Beach. In the audience were Sonny Liston (less than a week before he would lose his heavyweight title to Cassius Clay) and Joe Louis. That night, Allen took on the role of Marty “Rocky” Allen and delivered that line to great hilarity.

Allen still has that wonderful timing and elusive ability to fill a room: A room seated for 1,000 is at capacity for this 3 p.m. performance. Allen shows up after a few numbers by his wife, who also plays some nifty piano and says, “I’m killing time so Marty can comb his hair.”

Allen still has that wild mane, though it’s thinned out over the years. But it still runs black, is combed over and is happily mussed as if he’s just rolled off a cot.

Beginning a string of one-liners, he says, “I’m 94, and I’ve still got it! But nobody wants it!”

And, “Sometimes I laugh so hard, the tears run down my leg.”

And, “I met Madonna once. She asked me out. I was in her hotel room.”

Blackwell returns to lead a conversation with her hubby, which is to recount his career as a dancer (first he was that) and comic actor. He was a solo act who opened for Nat King Cole, who subsequently introduced him to the dashing straight man Rossi, and the two spent more than a decade appearing on Sullivan’s show a total of 44 times.

They were nightclub headliners and built a strong following before splitting “amicably,” as Allen always reminds, in 1968. Through videos, we revisit Allen’s tour of the TV circuit, where he was a mainstay on game shows such as “Hollywood Squares” and daytime talkers including “The Mike Douglas Show.”

He was a decorated U.S. Army Air Corps serviceman, helping bomb the Nazi’s fuel supply in Romania. The man who became famous as a comic showed very real courage, once smothering a fire on a fighter plane to save a U.S. airfield, an act that earned the Soldier’s Medal, issued to Army personnel who show uncommon heroism.

“I had a perforated eardrum, and I was afraid they wouldn’t take me into the service,” Marty tells the audience. “I said, ‘Please, God, let them take me.’ I wanted so badly to serve my country.” At that, Blackwell stands and delivers Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the U.S.A.” Much of the audience stands and sings along, as does Allen.

His time with The Beatles is resurrected along with a photo of him peering into the sunglasses of a laughing John Lennon. “John, I am often mistaken for you,” is the line Allen deals to Lennon. In that shot, you can see Allen’s goofy countenance reflected in The Beatle’s shades.

At the mention of that famous event, Blackwell steers through a medley of The Beatles songs (“Long and Winding Road,” “A Hard Day’s Night” and “Hey Jude” are given a spin), and Allen returns once more as the puppet “Buddy.” Blackwell converses with Buddy, who unleashes a series of one-liners, after which he calls out, “My name is Buddy!”

He fumbles a couple of bits, including one where Blackwell asks him three questions about his favorite football players. The setup is, “Buddy, who is your favorite quarterback?” “Aaron Rodgers of the Packers.” “Buddy, who is your favorite running back?” Buddy trips on that question, then stammers, “Jennifer Lopez!”

“No! That’s your favorite tight end,” Blackwell says, breaking into a laugh. Allen regroups. “My favorite tight end? Jennifer Lopez!” The crowd is busting up, and Allen’s eyes dart around the room for several seconds. Then he says, “My name is Buddy!”

Blackwell gathers herself to introduce “a hot redhead” who wants to wish Allen a “Happy Birthday.” A giant cake is rolled to the stage, and out pops … Carrot Top. The crowd erupts as he hugs Allen, whose face is a picture of elation.

The show culminates with Blackwell returning to the piano to play some boogie-woogie. “Boogie and Beethoven,” a cover of the Larry Gatlin and The Gatlin Brothers’ hit, fills the room, and Allen begins to dance. He’s right there, keeping the beat and moving with grace and spirit. And, as he smiles and steps lively through this jig, all you can do is clap and smile along.

Marty Allen is 94, he’s still got it, and you know what? He’s wrong about something. We do still want it.

Follow John Katsilometes on Twitter at Twitter.com/JohnnyKats. Also, follow Kats on Instagram at Instagram.com/JohnnyKats1.