Wednesday, Oct. 21, 2009 | 3:38 p.m.
A few computer science and journalist majors at Northwestern have finished developing a program called "StatsMonkey" which supposedly is capable of writing a sports story from statistics.
Well, I suppose there's always early retirement.
What they should have developed is a program that will stop Wisconsin from running the ball down their football team's throat, but that's just a bitter sports writer talking.
Ann-Margret attended Northwestern but didn't graduate, probably because they didn't have a computer program that could ace an English Lit final while you sang and danced.
Then, too, it might have been because when you have legs like Ann-Margret, who needs English Literature?