Sunday, Feb. 5, 2006 | 12:33 p.m.
Auctions are a great way to raise money, and I hope Nevada Public Radio KNPR-FM did well on its fundraising effort that ended Saturday. There were a lot of books, CDs, fine dinners and great deals on exotic vacation getaways.
But I think the online auction, or ones like it, can be spiced up a little. I suggest that, next year, the auction include bidding on some of these items, if there are some cooperative donors:
A year's supply of Botox, donated by Wayne ("As Vegas as Vegas Gets") Newton.
A Super Bowl tailgate party in your driveway, for the entire neighborhood, with lots of wings and catered by Hooters Girls.
Dinner with TV station mogul (and Nevada's chancellor of higher education) Jim Rogers, to discuss management styles and the role of the necktie in the workplace.
(Either as single items or bundled for a couple:) Announcing dancers at Cheetah's and/or Chippendale's.
A private tour with Steve Wynn through his art gallery at Wynn Las Vegas, before it is dismantled in favor of a high-end watch shop. A martini glass etched with the signature of you-know-who. Dinner with Jim Rogers to discuss the chancellor's role in the Clark County School District and whether he might want to be its superintendent in a year or two.
A sight-seeing helicopter tour over Summerlin. (Those people need to get use to the noise sooner or later.)
All the concert, sporting and NASCAR freebies that used to go to politicians until that whole ethics issue was raised.
A bundled package: A week as a Metro Police traffic cop, followed by a week as a traffic court judge. (OK, that's just my fantasy.) A Venetian gondola ride with Sheldon Adelson at the rudder. With a sufficiently high bid, Steve Wynn might come along and seranade you.
A VIP package, including back-stage passes, for the first concert at Rolling Stone Hotel (assuming the rumors are true that there will be one).
Dinner with Rogers and the board of regents as he shares his vision for higher education in Nevada.
A round of golf on a Bill Walters course, with Bill caddying and Oscar driving alongside with the martini cart.
Your family videos digitized and viewed on the light-show canopy above Fremont Street.
At the Bellagio, floating on an innertube under the dancing fountains of Lake Como on a hot summer day.
A personal land-investments seminar with Attorney General George Chanos in which he'll discuss how to exploit the apparently still hot Las Vegas real estate market.
A pass to get to the front of the line at Tao (or the Bellagio Sunday brunch buffet). An hour or two at Costco with either Danny Gans, Celine Dion, Lance Burton or Rita Rudner in their yard-work clothes, to see if anyone recognizes them. (Then, lunch over a couple of Polish dogs and sodas.)
A Las Vegas wardrobe for the man in your life: T-shirt, Bermuda shorts, black socks and sandals; linen slacks, white cotton shirt and dress loafers; a tuxedo, and a white-sequined Elvis jump suit.
Cocktails, dinner and a relaxed fireside chat with the person who has the best vision for the city's future. (Unsure at this writing who that person is, or if there is one.
Dinner with Jim Rogers and deposed UNLV President Carol Harter. This might be a quickie drive-through at the In 'n Out Burger next to the campus.
The school superintendent's job. (Training to begin immediately by Rogers, but the job won't occur until late next year.)
Tom Gorman's column runs Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. He can be reached at 259-2310 or at firstname.lastname@example.org.