Monday, July 17, 2006 | 7:17 a.m.
"One Adam 12, One Adam 12 see the man running from the bank with a big bag of cash. Suspect seen waving 32-ounce bottle of Frost Glacier Freeze in one hand and lugging gallon-sized jug of original Lemon Lime with other. Approach with caution."
Actually, Gatorade was barely two years old when Reed and Malloy began patrolling the streets of Los Angeles and Frost Glacier Freeze didn't yet exist. But it's doubtful they would have seen a man gulping a sports drink - even if it came in a glass bottle then - as armed and dangerous.
Apparently not so in boxing.
A new Nevada rule that would allow fighters to drink Gatorade between rounds was less than two days old before it came under attack. Oscar De La Hoya's Golden Boy Promotions, which promotes Shane Mosley, filed a formal complaint on the eve of Mosley's rematch with Fernando Vargas at the MGM Grand.
De La Hoya's logic: Gatorade might spill and get "sticky."
That might be a big problem were Mosley and Vargas having a picnic in the middle of the ring. Then it might cause ants.
Kidding aside, De La Hoya's biggest beef is that a few drops of Gatorade on the gloves of a fighter could wind up in the eyes of the other one and cause discomfort.
I suppose he has a point.
Just for the heck of it, I dumped a half bottle of Xtremo Mango onto my countertop. Darned if didn't get a little tacky. It must have taken two wipes of a wet sponge to clean it up.
De La Hoya also said having sports drink in the corner is dangerous because it gives one energy. I guess it never occurred to him that he could also give his fighter what his body was thirsty for.
Of course, it could also be that De La Hoya is right. Maybe Gatorade is the sharp stick of the new millennium. Maybe it'll wind up putting somebody's eye out instead of replenishing one's vital body fluids.
Then the record will show that when it came to one's health and well-being, Gatorade was the worst idea since well, letting two powerful and finely tuned athletes hit each other up upside the heads with their fists for 12 rounds.
THIS WEEK'S BEST BET
Portland Beavers at Las Vegas 51s, 7:05 p.m. Friday, Cashman Field
The first 2,500 fans through the turnstiles will receive a bobblehead doll depicting Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen in a 1984 Las Vegas Stars uniform. The bobbleheads are free; sensitivity counseling not included.
TICKETS: www.ticketmaster.com or 386-7200
ON THE WEB: www.lv51.com
ALSO WORTH A LOOK
International Pool Tour North American Open 8-Ball Championship, Saturday-July 30, The Venetian
Players from around the world will be competing for a record first-place prize of $350,000. Quick, somebody tell "Fast Eddie" Felson he doesn't have to hustle anymore.
TICKETS: www.internationalpooltour.com. (online only)
ON THE WEB: www.internationalpooltour.com