By Brendan Buhler

Sat, Sep 15, 2007 (7:46 a.m.)

By Friday, a cable-news watching nation was suffering. It had had enough of the monotonous (and so depressing) Iraq war updates , and yet it had been days since Britney Spears last embarrassed herself. Could nothing be done?

And then, as one, CNN, Fox and MSNBC said, "Thank you, O.J."

Yes, O.J. Simpson, the 1990s celebrity murder trial novelty act also known as "The Juice," once again rode to the rescue of a bored nation.

This time it was in Las Vegas for allegedly using a gang of armed men to bust into a Palace Station hotel room and steal sports memorabilia that he claimed were originally stolen from him. Or maybe it was an O.J.-run "sting." Or a golf bet or something. Anyway, thanks Juice!

Metro Police seemed less than pleased to have a media event on their hands, since one little slip-up could land them in talking-head hell. The best thing to do was to say only as much as they had to , or less.

"We are not prepared to exchange intimate details of this investigation," a spokesman said before Friday's news conference.

Meanwhile, the non local additions to the press corps milled around a meeting room in Metro's Investigative Services Division.

One cameraman from Extra explained to all the other cameramen the hidden truth of why Britney really bombed at the MTV Video Music Awards. (They changed her dance routine.) As the 9:30 a.m. news conference kept getting pushed back into the early afternoon, the Extra reporter decided he'd waited long enough. So he filmed his intro to the non-exclusive news conference that was still an hour away.

"Extra has new details about the break-in here in Las Vegas and why cops are questioning O.J."

He went through it three times, adding more emphasis on each take, so it got to, "EXTRA has New Details about the Break-In here in LAS VEGAS and why COPS are questioning O.J.!!" before he was happy with it.

"No live shots for me," he said. "I get multiple takes."

At last the news conference got under way. Metro officers on the case had been sucked into the Juice box for more than 12 hours without sleep, including James Dillon, captain of the robbery - homicide division. It was a tired-looking Dill on who was given the unhappy job of feeding the media beast.

He gave a few spare details. The incident happened just before 8 p.m. The investigation under way will be thorough and complete. O.J. is cooperating. There will be more details by Monday.

Then, to apologize for making everyone wait, he would not answer a few questions.

He couldn't confirm that guns were involved. He wouldn't talk about the contents of any surveillance tapes.

"It's too early to state that," he said.

"I'm not making any statements on that," he added.

"I can't identify these items."

"We're not prepared to comment."

"And with that, I've answered more than I was hoping to," he said.

To end the news conference, Dillon assured everyone: "The Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department is very committed and very focused on conducting a thorough and biased and competent investigation."

A few minutes later, Dillon came into the half-empty room.

"Please don't put that I said 'biased' in there," he said. "Obviously I meant to say unbiased. It was a slip. I'm very tired."

TV, alas, broadcast it live.

Later, Metro sent out a "slightly" edited version of the audio recording of the news conference.

"The Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department is very committed and very focused on conducting a thorough and _________ competent investigation."