Las Vegas Sun

March 28, 2024

Scott Dickensheets: An election hangover, and an act of God

So it’s over. Either your candidate lost and you’re angry, or your candidate won and you’re still angry. (Except for the TV people, who remain glassy-eyed from the epic feast of attack-ad revenue.) Am I the only one who still flinches when the phone or doorbell rings? Indeed, the mood is so wrung-out and exhausted that it feels like we’re living in a Bob Dylan song.

Still, we have unfinished business, lingering questions. Some can’t be answered until next week, when, according to the county elections people, the precinct-by-precinct results become available. Then we can learn, for example, whether Searchlight voters really did turn on hometown boy Harry Reid, as some have predicted.

Meanwhile, Sun reporters have been beavering away on important postelection wraps; watch for them. Which leaves the less-pressing questions to me. So here are a few finishing details before we bag up this campaign and leave it on the curb. (Not for the recycling truck, either.)

What’s the view from the bottom of the election?

Parting thoughts from David Curtis, the Green Party candidate for governor — it’s true, they had one. Not that you’d know from the lack of attention he got. Curtis collected 2,547 votes in Clark County (statewide: 4,437), 0.6 percent. (By contrast, winner Brian Sandoval polled 88 times that number. “None of these candidates” got 7,008 votes, 1.5 percent.)

“Oh, sure, now an interview.”

“In addition to it always being nearly impossible to run as a third-party candidate, the horrible economy has made it extremely difficult for the Greens to connect and organize. Most people seem to be doing all they can just to keep their little spot of the world together, much less get involved in an improbable political mystery tour.”

“Thank you, Rory Reid, for not running out of the building the three or so times we were at joint events.”

“Exclusion of minor party candidates from the debates should probably be illegal. I believe it to be unconstitutional.”

“The Tea Party has a brand problem, in that it tends to also weave religion into the mix. They claim to be constitutional and yet want to trim the hedge between church and state. That could limit their success in Nevada.”

“I feel like Pee-wee Herman, when the public abandoned him for (what he did) in a movie theater.”

How long do candidates have to retrieve their signs?

The infestation of political ads on every vacant scrap of land is one of the worst symptoms of election season. Now that it no longer matters what Joyce Woodhouse’s opponents think of her, they and the other campaigns have 15 days from Tuesday to get them the hell out of our way, according to Joe Boteilho, chief of code enforcement for Clark County.

And if they don’t? “The worst that can happen to them is a citation for misdemeanor,” he says. “But usually we’ll just impound the sign.”

Like that’s motivation to clean up after yourself?

What are the theological implications of Angle’s loss?

After all, she claimed that God called her to this race. Does that mean God was quietly pulling for Harry Reid? That Angle was hearing things? Surely she wants answers, and I’d like to have listened in on that postelection conversation:

Angle: “Good Lord, what’s going on? I’m confused.”

God: “No kidding. Look, this candidacy of yours — I confess, I didn’t think it through the way I should’ve. I was distracted that day — Luther was all up in my grill about justification by faith again, and jeez, does that guy have no sense of humor. So I wasn’t paying full attention to the implications of this whole Angle-for-Senate thing.

“Then you went bonkers on me, Sharron. Government as idolatry? No separation between church and state? What are you, a 15th-century pope? One day the Holy Ghost makes a good point: What if you get in, using my name, and actually try all the crazy stuff you’re talking about? Bad for the brand, Sharron. Frankly, it risks my reputation for omnipotence. And in my line, reputation is everything. So I had to back off, leave it to mankind’s free will.”

Angle: “Now what, Lord?”

God: “How about opening a lemonade stand?”

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