Reid, Angle debate the salient issues of their campaign

By Jon Ralston

Friday, Oct. 22, 2010 | 2 a.m.

If Harry met Sharron now:

Harry Reid: “Konbanwa, Sharron.”

Sharron Angle: “Excuse me, Senator?”

Reid: “I’m very sorry. I thought you were Asian, so I said hello in Japanese.”

Angle: “Very funny. But people don’t think the economy is funny, Senator. So they don’t care about that stuff.”

Reid: “Wait, let me get my notes. Here it is: You are extreme, Sharron.”

Angle: “Let’s make a deal, Senator. You don’t call me ‘extreme’ and I won’t wonder how you made your money.”

Reid: “OK. And if you don’t talk about how rich I am, I won’t talk about how the Queen of Anti-Government Benefits lives off her husband’s BLM pension. By the way, do they know you are a BLM wife out there in the rurals? They don’t like the BLM.”

Angle: “If you don’t mention that, I won’t talk about how you live in a condo at the Ritz-Carlton that’s worth a million dollars. One million dollars.”

Reid: “Domo arigato.”

Angle: “What? Are you getting lost again, Senator?”

Reid: “I was just saying thanks a lot in Japanese. I keep thinking you are Asian because you look a little Asian.”

Angle: “Well, thanks to you, Senator, China is surpassing us in every economic measure. And it’s because of you, the stimulus, bailouts and Obamacare.”

Reid: “You are extreme, Sharron. And I have no idea why I am even here with you.”

Angle: “You are here because you are a rubber stamp for Barack Obama and together with Nancy Pelosi you gave Nevada the highest unemployment in the country.”

Reid: “I had nothing to do with that. Nothing. Not I. But let’s change the subject. Hey, look, Sharron, some Hispanic kids are here. Why don’t you tell them they look Asian?”

Angle: “Hey, I have a Mexican grandchild. Why isn’t that enough for people?”

Reid: “Kyokudo! Kyokudo! Kyokudo!”

Angle: “I knew there were domestic enemies in the Senate. See, he can’t even speak English, which should be the official language of the United States.”

Reid: “I was just calling you extreme in Japanese, Sharron. It’s hard not to think of you as Asian, Sharron. And I bet you could speak in a Japanese dialect if you wanted to.”

Angle: “You can make fun of me all you want, Senator. But that won’t make people forget about Obamacare or the economy.”

Reid: “I sure hope it does. Let’s change the subject. Hey, Sharron, what about all those terrorists coming from Canada, eh? Pretty frightening!”

Angle: “It is. And I read somewhere that they came across the border into Dearborn and set up Sharia law there. And now women there have to wear veils all the time. I read that.”

Reid: “Kokyu! Kokyu! Kokyu!”

Angle: “Did you call me ‘cuckoo,’ Senator?”

Reid: “See, she is Asian! I knew it. Are you in this country legally, Sharron? Shall we call you Tokyo Sharron?”

Angle: “Senator, are you autistic? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

Reid: “Well, if I were, you wouldn’t want me covered by insurance, would you?”

Angle: “I know it’s hard for a socialist like you to understand the free market, Senator. Not every ‘disease’ (uses air quotes) should be covered. But let’s talk about the economy, Senator. I heard we only lost 36,000 jobs this month. Is that a good thing?”

Reid: “I never said that! Wait, that’s your trick. OK, I said it. So what? If they wanted an orator for this job, they shouldn’t have hired me.”

Angle: “Well, we want to fire you. You are Obama’s apprentice. So as they say on that show, ‘You’re fired.’ ”

Reid: “You are extreme, Sharron. And, wait, what’s the other word? It’s here somewhere. Oh, yes: Dangerous. Extreme and dangerous. Why am I here with you?”

Angle: “You are here because you are an illegal alien’s best friend, Senator. You want amnesty for all of them, all of those people.”

Reid: “What people, Sharron?”

Angle: “Oh, don’t play the race card. I was talking about illegal Canadians on our soil. They could be dangerous. Those were Ottawans in my ad.”

Reid: “Kokyu! Kokyu! Kokyu!”

Angle: “You can call me names, Senator. But you can’t get away from the unemployment rate. You did it. You. You can’t make people forget.”

Reid: “Forget what, Extreme One?”

Angle: “I thought we had a deal, Senator. How about we don’t talk about any of this nonsense for the rest of the campaign?”

Reid: “But if we don’t talk about that stuff, what will we talk about?”

Angle: “I guess we’ll just have to shut up.”

Reid: “Sayonara, Sharron.”