Las Vegas Sun

March 29, 2024

My big, fat, Royal Wedding experience

Erin Ryan offers a play-by-play of the biggest social event of the year at the Crown & Anchor

Royal Wedding

Erin Ryan

The Crown & Anchor was filled with devotees of both William and Kate, right down to the creepy masks.

The Blastoff. At 1:30 a.m. on the dot, the Crown & Anchor on Tropicana Avenue became the center of the universe. After months of salivating and stalking, the assembled crowd of locals and kindred spirits across the world were finally going to see the dress, the ring and the face of the “People’s Princess” as her prince promised to love and cherish her for all eternity. As Chuck Norris would say: “booyah.”

The Pre-show. Split between the packed bar and dining room, the Crown’s six TVs and two giant projection screens were a real-time portal to the action in London. As vintage cars and outrageous hats flashed by, the audience downed ales and cocktails and rated the looks of guests ranging from Sir Elton John and Guy Ritchie to the Queen Mum herself, who owned the day in a butter-hued suit and, of course, pearls. (Move over, Barbara Bush.)

The Two Princes. As soon as the car carrying Prince William and his brother/best man Harry appeared, the place went wild. A trio of women swooned, their tiaras coming dangerously close to poking out someone’s eye. Slurring and achingly sincere, a young fellow yelled Harry’s name over and over, as though the notorious bad boy might look his way and offer to buy him a drink and maybe an island in the Maldives. A table of older patrons leaned forward as one, their staid smiles in keeping with the crisp British decorum unfolding on screen.

The Revelation. To me, it felt like watching an Entertainment Tonight Oscar special, until William stepped into Westminster Abbey and removed his hat. Then it hit me, a slow burn in my stomach and throat, and not from my tequila adventures earlier in the night ... Born a few years and an ocean apart, Wills and I were sharing an epic moment. I remembered his baby pictures with his angelic mother, Diana, and his brave face at her funeral when he was only a boy. I remembered fantasizing about walking toward him down that grandest of aisles in a dress bigger and more dazzling than anything my Barbies had in their arsenal. My generation grew up with William Arthur Philip Louie Wales. He may be the Duke of Cambridge and heir to the throne of England, but he’s also just a guy who fell in love with a girl. I could see it in his face.

Click to enlarge photo

If you're going to watch the Royal Wedding at the Crown & Anchor, a Breakfast Butty is always recommended.

The Grub and the Girl. In honor of William and Kate’s blend of royal and common, I ordered a Crown specialty — the Breakfast Butty. The pan-fried ham, egg and cheese on a buttered bun went perfectly with the traditional “chips,” which I doused with malt vinegar AND ketchup, to make it an international affair. Just as I tucked into the sandwich, Kate made her entrance. I didn’t feel jealous as much as gut-punched by her loveliness and otherworldly poise. If anyone is going to steal Prince William from the besotted billions, it should be this woman, whose train-length and demure blush were right on the money.

The Moment of Truth. When William finally turned and saw his bride, the burn returned. When he said his vows, it snaked up into my temples. When he made his final promise, “I will,” I understood what all the swooning was about (thankfully, sans tiara).

The Celebration. While the Crown’s wedding party included a lot of Yankees, the UK ex-pats made their presence known. They sang along with “God Save the Queen,” though their version was heavy on the Sex Pistols and light on the pious. When the marriage was official, they led the establishment in hip-hip-hooray.

The Lesson. The wedding sermon by Bishop of London Richard Chartres suggested: “Many people are fearful for the future of today’s world, but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one—this is a joyful day. It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope.” Even for anti-monarchy activists, cynics and those simply disgusted by the spectacle, it’s hard to deny that last bit.

The Odds. Johnny Avello, executive director of race and sports at the Wynn, came up with these odds related to the Royal Wedding (which is a proper noun, by the way). The following is a sampling, demonstrating Avello’s visionary gift:

Wedding dress color

Ivory, 5 to 9

White, 3 to 1

Another color, 5 to 1

Hair accessories

Tiara, 1 to 4

Flowers, 7 to 2

Length of time bride waves to crowd from Buckingham Palace balcony

Over 1 minute 30 seconds, 7 to 5

Under 1 minute 30 seconds, 5 to 8

Queen’s hat color

Yellow, 5 to 7

Another color, 6 to 5

Total number of people watching the wedding on TV

More than 1.8 billion, 10 to 11

Less than 1.8 billion, 10 to 11

Join the Discussion:

Check this out for a full explanation of our conversion to the LiveFyre commenting system and instructions on how to sign up for an account.

Full comments policy