Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2014 | 2 a.m.
I have been in a deep depression since the football season ended. My wife to the rescue.
Johnny, we are going to watch soccer. Sit in your recliner and I will turn on the TV.
Boy, did I get excited! I figured I would see well-developed women fight.
Instead, I’m seeing men in short pants kicking a basketball. After 10 minutes of this torture, I was ready to jump out of my skin. I cursed my doctors for forcing me to stop drinking — at least if I was half in the bag I might have gotten through halftime.
She saw I was beside myself.
Dear, why don’t you go outside and do your bird watching?
Little did she know that watching the grass grow would be more exciting than watching soccer.
I hear UNLV wants to build a stadium. Some say it would cost millions more for a covered stadium.
I have an idea. Build an open stadium on wheels and before the summer comes, wheel it to Northern Nevada.
Boy, do I need a drink.