Let’s kick soccer up to Reno

By John Tominsky, Las Vegas

Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2014 | 2 a.m.

I have been in a deep depression since the football season ended. My wife to the rescue.

Johnny, we are going to watch soccer. Sit in your recliner and I will turn on the TV.

Boy, did I get excited! I figured I would see well-developed women fight.

Instead, I’m seeing men in short pants kicking a basketball. After 10 minutes of this torture, I was ready to jump out of my skin. I cursed my doctors for forcing me to stop drinking — at least if I was half in the bag I might have gotten through halftime.

She saw I was beside myself.

Dear, why don’t you go outside and do your bird watching?

Little did she know that watching the grass grow would be more exciting than watching soccer.

I hear UNLV wants to build a stadium. Some say it would cost millions more for a covered stadium.

I have an idea. Build an open stadium on wheels and before the summer comes, wheel it to Northern Nevada.

Boy, do I need a drink.