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March 29, 2024

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Politicians say the darndest things

Pols say the darndest things!

We have culled from masses of malapropisms, silly statements, dumb observations and, sadly, few words of wisdoms from our national leaders in 2014. Hope it gives you a better idea of what goes on in D.C.

Republican House Speaker John Boehner says he has a tough job that involves many roles. He told Jay Leno, “Some members, I have to be the big brother figure. Some, I have to be the father figure. Others I have to be the dean of students or the principal. Some of them, I have to be the Gestapo.”

Musing on future ambitions, he added, “I like to play golf. I like to cut my own grass. You know, I do drink red wine. I smoke cigarettes. And I’m not giving that up to be president of the United States.”

Speaking of Boehner, President Barack Obama said at a dinner that House Republicans were giving the speaker an even harder time than they gave him, “which means orange really is the new black,” referring to Boehner’s famous orange tan.

While not a Washingtonian, Thomas Menino, who died in October after being Boston’s mayor for 21 years, spent days hanging around the Capitol. He was overheard saying about another politician, “He was a man of great statue.”

Sen. Rand Paul, (R-Ky.), who wants to be elected president in 2016, spoke about the tragic case of the New Yorker killed in a police chokehold for selling loose cigarettes on the street. Paul said on MSNBC he was horrified, but added, “I think there’s something bigger than just the individual circumstances. ... I think it’s also important to know that some politicians put a tax of $5.85 on a pack of cigarettes, so they’ve driven cigarettes underground by making them so expensive.” (Paul, a graduate of the Duke University School of Medicine, who became an ophthalmologist, should know about cancer, and cigarette taxes.)

Hillary Clinton, who also wants to be elected president in 2016, said, “When you’re a woman, you know you’re being judged constantly. I mean it is just never-ending. And you get a little worried about, OK, you know, people over on this side are loving what I’m wearing, looking like, saying. And people over on this side aren’t. Your natural tendency is: How do you bring people together so you can better communicate? I’m done with that. I mean, I’m just done.”

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, another 2016 hopeful, was confronted by a man holding a sign protesting that hundreds of Hurricane Sandy victims still had not received aid. Christie told the man, “Guy, somebody like you doesn’t know a d—n thing about what you’re talking about except to stand up and show off when the cameras are here.” He told the protester to “sit down and shut up.” (Two years after the hurricane, only $802 million of the $3.26 billion the federal government has provided to New Jersey has been paid out to homeless residents, leaving thousands without help.)

Sen. Harry Reid, (D-Nev.), never known for charisma and just deposed as Senate majority leader, was recalling being visited by Brad Pitt. As they posed for photographers, Reid asked, “How will they tell us apart?”

So many pols; so little time.

Ann McFeatters is a columnist for Tribune News Service.

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