Sunday, Nov. 2, 2014 | 2 a.m.
Avoidance
Sometimes a child is best off trying to avoid confrontations with the bully by taking a different route home or walking in groups.
Online restriction
Social media sites have created a new breed of cyberbullies, who can reach a student anywhere and anytime. Cyberbullies can be tough to avoid, so Moeller recommends parents restrict online usage until the child is emotionally strong enough for it.
Don’t transfer anger to someone else
Parvin teaches students how to fight back and also stresses the importance of controlling their anger. Sometimes bullies become bullies because they are being victimized themselves. “If you’re getting picked on, don’t turn around and pick on someone else,” Parvin said.
Sometimes school can seem like a prison for children. They may not look for trouble, but it finds them.
Child Empowerment Instructor Lance Parvin has heard that feeling expressed many times while working with victims of bullying at the Cultural Arts Training Foundation. His weeklong class specializes in helping children deal with bullies by teaching them self-confidence, de-escalation techniques and martial arts for self-defense.
Some bullied children have come to him thinking that bringing a weapon to school is their only solution. Parvin teaches them there’s a better way to deal with their problems. His goal is to make the children feel more secure.
Here are some tips for dealing with bullies from Parvin and Brandon Moeller, the Clark County School District’s director of equity and diversity, who promotes respect and anti-bullying in school.
Talk it through
Parvin stresses using words and reason to de-escalate tension. Phrases such as “I don’t want to fight, we’ll both get in trouble,” or “What’s your problem with me?” can make a bully think of the consequences of his or her actions. When bullies do that, they tend to back off.
Parvin suggests not telling a bully to calm down or calling that person a name, because it only escalates the situation.
Controlled physicality
When a bully persists, sometimes the only course of action is to fight back. Parvin recommends doing so only if the bully initiates contact.
“You have a right to defend yourself,” Parvin said.
Parvin incorporates martial arts training in his class to teach kids how to control situations quickly so that adults can get involved.
Parents should look for cues
Children don’t always tell parents about what’s happening in school. It’s crucial that parents pay attention to changes in behavior and talk to their child, Moeller said. Some of the most common signs of a child being bullied are acting despondent, hanging back on the playground or expressing anxiety about going to school.
Report it
If a bully persists or is being harmful, Moeller recommends a child report the bully to a trusted teacher or administrator. Once an adult knows what is happening, he or she can get involved to diffuse the situation.
It also creates a record, so if a situation escalates, it doesn’t become a he said-she said debate, Parvin said.
If a student is afraid of stepping forward to report a bullying incident, he or she can submit anonymous reports.
Strength in numbers
Bullies often single out children who are alone or who hang back. Moeller said the more involved a student is in school activities, the higher his or her self-esteem and the more friends they have, making them less of a target.
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