Thursday, March 28, 2013 | 5:04 p.m.
Get out your sock puppets: “Absinthe” at Caesars Palace celebrates two years and 1,000 shows of its jaw-dropping, button-pushing brand of entertainment tonight. To mark the milestone, we asked stars Melody Sweets, Penny Pibbets and head honcho The Gazillionaire a few questions in honor of the number 1,000.
If you could have 1,000 of anything, what would it be?
The Gazillionaire: Penises. So many women, so little time. It would really help get things done.
Penny Pibbets: Life-sized Gummy Bears, and I would eat them all in one sitting, which would be horrible and amazing at the same time.
Melody Sweets: Ooh! One thousand pairs of bling-y rhinestone shoes covered in Swarovskis for the next thousand shows of "Absinthe." I would shine so bright on the stage that people would have to wear shades in the audience!
What's the best thing $1,000 can buy you in Las Vegas?
T.G.: A pack of gum? That costs around $1,000, right?
P.P.: Whoa! That's a lot of money! You can probably buy a used Toyota Corolla off Craigslist. I'd ride in it down the Strip with the windows down blasting "The Sound of Music" soundtrack.
M.S.: A pretty hooker! And you can bring her to “Absinthe” to see the show, as they often do. Or tickets for your entire crew to see “Absinthe,” and you’ll get a thousand times the abuse, with love, from The Gazillionaire!
What would you do with $1,000 in the confines of Caesars Palace?
T.G.: Black. Always bet on black.
P.P.: I would tip one of those charming and really old waitresses $999 and then whisper, "There's more where that came from."
M.S.: I would take myself out for a fancy dinner, and then I would go see Elton John. Oh yeah, and The Forum Shops, definitely. But I’d have to hit those up after; otherwise, I wouldn’t have any money left.
After 1,000 shows, is there one performance in particular that stands out to you? Why?
T.G.: The parts where Penny shuts up and doesn't interrupt me with her constant blabbering about nothing. Oh, wait. That was a dream; that never happens.
P.P.: This guy had a heart attack during my sock puppets. That was pretty memorable.
M.S.: That’s hard; they’ve all been fantastic and all so different. I’d say our very first one, when we did our first full run through, and it was the first time I heard Penny do the sock puppets. I remember how much I was laughing and how shocked I was that we were getting away with what we were, and at Caesars Palace of all places. It’s pretty amazing they even kept us, let alone for a thousand shows.
If you could add 1,000 of anything to “Absinthe,” what would it be?
T.G.: Breasts. One thousand women. Oh yeah, they would be Amazons. Google it if the math doesn't work.
P.P.: Punks so I can crowd surf on top of them. I've always wanted to do that.
M.S.: I’d like a thousand more seats so we can have a thousand more people come to see us a day.
Transport yourself to the opulent and excessive Roman Empire at Caesars Palace. But the ever-changing Caesars Palace is far from ancient. The hotel and casino is constantly raising the bar for what visitors can expect in a Vegas resort experience.
Caesars Palace features 3,348 rooms and suites in five towers, including the new luxury boutique Nobu Hotel and Restaurant, which opened Feb. 4, 2013, in the totally remodeled Centurian Tower. Caesars features 129,000 square feet of gaming space, including the Strip’s largest poker room and a 250-seat sports book. Other amenities include about two dozen restaurants, a four-level shopping mall, four pools, a spa, Pure and Poetry nightclubs and Pussycat Dolls.
Dining options include restaurants from world-renown chefs Guy Savoy, Wolfgang Puck, Bobby Flay, Gordon Ramsay and, on Feb. 4, 2013, Nobu Matsuhisa.
You never know what characters you’ll run into at Caesars with regular performers like Jerry Seinfeld, Bette Midler, Elton John and maybe even the emperor himself.