Wellness

By Matthew Scott Hunter

Sunday, June 15, 2008 | 10:22 p.m.

“Wellness represents a huge paradigm shift in American healthcare,” Thomas Lindsay (Jeff Clark) explains to people throughout the film Wellness, when pitching the titular product/regimen/system. “It’s all-natural, FDA-approved,” he continues, “um … helps the flow of … electrodes in your brain … gives you regular bowel movements with better … uh, shape … and is the first product to ever be distributed globally.”

With each new word he spews about this product he has never tried or seen before, it becomes increasingly clear that Wellness is a scam. But in spite of his attempts to rip off strangers, you can’t really dislike Thomas. He’s as much a victim of this pyramid scheme as the few people who are actually dumb enough to pull out their checkbooks. And you have to admire the man for his dogged determination to be a terrific salesman—even if he’s ignoring the inconvenient fact that his product doesn’t exist.

As funny as the premise is for Wellness, most of the time, it’s an oppressively bleak film. Anyone’s who’s ever been conned or cheated in any way is bound to relate to Thomas’ sinking feelings as he gradually realizes that the seminar materials he’s trying to track down were never sent, his $500 petty cash envelope is about $490 short, and the phone number 1-800-WELLNESS has one too many digits in it to be for real.

Clark creates a schlubby but sympathetic character in Thomas. He alternates between weary despair and earnest optimism manifested from thin air, because the truth that he’s been had is too much to endure.

Writer-director Jake Mahaffy directs with a documentary style, without use of a script, which is both a strength and a weakness. Situations play true to life, but structurally, the first two thirds of the film are a repetitive series of failed sales pitches, which begin to grow tiresome. The proceedings are perhaps a little too straightforward, without subtext or metaphor. At the beginning of the film we see that Thomas collects hornets’ nests. What does this mean? It means Thomas is a quirky guy, and that’s all.

But Wellness creates a mood that transcends its technical limitations and guerrilla filmmaking origins. Unlike its namesake product, the movie won’t leave you feeling scammed.