The tale of the toxic Newt

Richard Rychtarik, Las Vegas

Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2011 | 2 a.m.

Newts are animals characterized by a frog-like body with four equal-size limbs and a distinct tail. Red-spotted newts produce toxins in their skin secretions; some newts in western North America are particularly toxic.

America’s Newt Gingrich also has four limbs and a distinct tale. It’s a tale of self-aggrandizement and financial enrichment at the expense of our country. Newt Gingrich is very much a red-spotted newt. His toxins can be found poisoning the well of all taxpayers.

Newt uses all of the classic Republican toxic talking points to rail against big government while simultaneously using government for personal enrichment at taxpayer expense.

Newt’s latest revelation comes on the heels of his “consulting” contract with the now financially troubled and government-backed mortgage company Freddie Mac. Newt didn’t waste any time. Five months after leaving Congress he’s on the dole at Freddie, earning far more than ever before. So during the eight years of the Bush administration and $1.6 million later, just what did he do for Freddie?

He had no real background in economics or the mortgage industry so what was his role while on the dole? He lobbied Congress in order to benefit himself, not our country. Then, just as the tide began to turn and TARP was the order of they day, Newt has a revelation about Freddie and immediately declares that Freddie Mac, but not his contribution, is the toxic waste dump of the mortgage industry. Bad for taxpayers, he declares!

Newts are highly toxic animals and contact with the genus Gingrich should be avoided at all cost.