Wednesday, Jan. 4, 2012 | 2:42 p.m.
Need more proof that the world will end in 2012? Here you go: Southern Nevada is opening a sci-fi brothel. Alien Cathouse, it’s called, and if there was ever a way to piss off our secret alien overlords, this is it. It started in comic books. Our hero would fly to some faraway planet where all female aliens were super-hot. Oh, they might have had seven breasts and blue skin, but they were hot nonetheless. So readers wondered what these alien women looked like without clothes. Enter alien porn. If you’ve surfed the Web for porn in the past decade—people do this, apparently; I wouldn’t know; I’m too busy rescuing orphaned puppies—you’ve probably “accidentally stumbled” across it. So really, an Alien Cathouse—a place where you can pay to have sex with women in alien costumes—was inevitable. The man designing the sci-fi bordello, of course, is Moonlight Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof. He’s also converting the nearby bar, gas station, and convenience store into an Area 51-themed Alien Travel Center. He’s getting help from his “chief alien design queen,” Heidi Fleiss. Which is probably a mistake. She doesn’t exactly have nerd street cred. And for nerds, if there’s one thing harder than getting a girlfriend, it’s accepting an outsider.