Wednesday, July 11, 2012 | 6 p.m.
Las Vegans: It’s all about you. Or at least, you think it’s all about you.
According to Men’s Health, Las Vegas is the fourth most vain city in the nation.
Fourth? That isn’t even on the podium. Why aren’t we No. 1? We want to be first place in everything, right?
And look who came in first: Tampa, Fla.
The other cities ahead of Las Vegas: Plano, Texas, and Atlanta, Ga.
At least we beat Dallas, Pittsburgh, Houston, Miami, San Francisco and Providence, R.I. (Providence? How did it get in the top 10?)
And our friends up in Reno came in at No. 24.
We won’t question how the magazine — known for having pictures of shirtless men with washboard abs on the cover — became the expert on vanity. The article says it based the rankings on numbers related to things such as cosmetic procedures, Botox users, dye jobs, at-home hair dyes, teeth whiteners, shapewear, cosmetic dentists, plastic surgeons and tanning salons.
Shapewear? We don’t need no stinking shapewear in Vegas. (But no, we’re not vain.)
The least vain cities on the list? Memphis, Tenn.; Toledo, Ohio; Detroit, Mich.; Burlington, Vt.; Fort Wayne, Ind.; Kansas City, Mo.; Fargo, N.D.; Sioux Falls, S.D.; Lincoln, Neb.; and Des Moines, Iowa.