Too much noise? Shut it off

By Bob Ory, Elgin, Ill.

Friday, Nov. 24, 2017 | 2 a.m.

After months of debilitating depression that resulted in sleep deprivation, emotional instability and an indifference to the plight of my fellow man, I have come up with a fool-proof solution that I feel compelled to share with everyone.

I simply stopped watching the news, every bit of it, including the network evening variety as well as the commentary on all the cable channels and even the Sunday morning chit chat.

I don’t know how well this will go over with the Society of Psychical Research, who are quite likely to debunk my action as a failure to confront reality, but I simply don’t care. For the first time I’m willing to concede that ignorance — especially when it comes to politics — is blissful if not therapeutic.

Who wouldn’t agree that 24 hours without listening to Sarah Huckabee Sanders or Kellyanne Conway is almost as pleasurable as a double-dip cone or a caramel apple with nuts? And think about this while you’re at it — a week without a Donald Trump tweet! Irresistible, huh?

So feel free to join me. I assure you that a day without news is not a day without sunshine. And who knows, maybe together we can rid the world of unspeakable horrors? At least until we have a lapse of memory and turn on the car radio.