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Saturday, March 28, 2020 | 2 a.m.
COVID-19 has reached pandemic status, causing disruption around the world. But as we take in the news and watch public addresses from elected officials, we need to recognize the implications these events have on young children.
Parenting tips
• Parents and caregivers should make themselves available to children and provide any extra attention they might need.
• When preparing for the conversation, pay attention to the child’s body language and facial expressions. Hayden emphasizes that you should avoid talking to children when your own stress is high. Keep nonverbal communication calm and reassuring.
• Try to keep a daily routine that includes some reading or schoolwork.
• Set consistent wake-up and bedtimes.
• Carve out family time for board games and arts and crafts, or take a virtual trip to a museum.
• Keep a chore chart, and schedule social time on the phone.
• Consider creating your own home economics class by baking cookies or a pie.
• Go outside when the weather is nice.
• Have a movie night with popcorn.
• Teenagers shouldn’t stay up all night and sleep all day. Try to keep them on their normal school schedule so the body adjusts easily when school returns to session.
• Create a schedule for the short-term future, so kids know what’s expected of them regarding schoolwork and free time.
Youths are extremely introspective, acting as sponges and absorbing what’s around them, even if they don’t understand it. That makes it imperative for parents and caregivers to explain coronavirus in terms children can grasp to protect their emotional well-being during these uncertain times.
“Be calm, talk slowly and in a clear vocabulary they can understand,” said Chelsea Sandusky, pediatric physician assistant with Southwest Medical Associates, part of OptumCare. “It’s OK to tell them the truth: There’s a virus going around that could cause people to get sick, so we have to be extra-careful not to further spread the disease.”
Children are acutely aware when something disrupts their normal routine. They can sense mood changes in adults and the environment around them, and if not directly addressed, they might draw their own inaccurate conclusions.
“Age-appropriate explanations are encouraged,” said Dr. Brian D. Norensberg, clinical psychologist with Allied Psychological Services. “Have the talk on a level that’s right for the developmental level of the child. … It’s important to convey that they are safe, and we are being careful. Communication encourages clarity, supporting their feelings of safety.”
Casey Hayden, behavior analyst with Behavior Essentials, echoes this advice and suggests the parent or caregiver be the initiator. “Be honest and direct and initiate the conversation,” Hayden said. “They will find security in you taking initiative. Also, you’ll be more prepared if you are initiating.”
It’s also imperative that you validate their feelings, Hayden said. “If they tell you they feel scared, avoid telling them to not be scared. Let them be scared while encouraging them to support others in their fear, being compassionate and loving to their friends and family during this time. Redirect them to what we have control over, such as keeping ourselves clean, avoiding crowds and being supportive and compassionate to others.”
Remember that even though a child may act strong-willed, they look to adults for guidance during stressful events. “Kids are very observant. They can smell fear and see it in the faces of adults around them,” Sandusky said.
“Be careful about what you’re saying on the phone or in conversations with others. They are in the background, they are always listening,” Norensberg said. “Answer questions to the best of your ability, and be optimistic.”
Age-appropriate tips
The National Association of School Nurses and the National Association of School Psychologists joined forces to develop an online resource for parents and caregivers. Here are a few of their suggestions:
• For elementary-age children, keep it brief and simple. Reassure them that you’re there to keep them healthy and to care for them.
• For upper elementary and early middle school children, help them understand reality versus rumor. Explain how the community is working to prevent germs from spreading.
• For upper middle schoolers and high schoolers, have a conversation with them about the facts and current state of coronavirus. Participating in this type of in-depth exchange will help them feel a sense of control.
Support for parents
If you find yourself in need of additional support, Hayden recommends telehealth options such as betterhelp.com and talkspace.com, the SAMHSA Disaster Distress Helpline at 1-800-985-5990 or texting TalkWithUS 66746. In order to provide the best care and support for your children, you need to first take care of yourself.
This story appeared in Las Vegas Weekly.
