Monday, May 10, 2021 | 2 a.m.
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Editor’s note: With a tip of the cap to Ernest Lawrence Thayer, we offer this 21st-century update of his iconic poem about America’s Pastime. Our version focuses on House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, R-Calif., who has led his party’s attack on Major League Baseball for moving the All-Star Game over opposition to the GOP’s recently approved voter laws in Georgia. McCarthy accuses Democrats, specifically President Joe Biden, of misleading MLB about the law. Democrats say the blame for the game’s relocation lies with Republicans for passing laws suppressing the vote among minorities. And with that, we offer ...
The feeling wasn’t happy for the Trumpville folks that day
The score stood 4 to 2, with but one inning more to play
And then when Harper homered, touching off a mighty cheer
The GOPers ground their teeth and grumbled in their beers
They’d hoped and prayed this match would be a legendary dud
So as they saw heard these joyous shouts, it really boiled their blood
To them this wasn’t just a harmless game between All-Stars
But yet another chance to play their “I’m a victim!” card.
They’d screamed and yelled when MLB had made the fateful call
That Georgia wouldn’t be the place where fans would hear “Play ball!”
They wailed of wokeness, cancel culture, forces on the left
And never mind that their own party prompted all this mess
“We’ll boycott!” they all thundered; their outrage dialed to 10.
“We’ll never take a Delta flight or drink a Coke again!
“We’ll stay away from stadiums and tune out MLB
“We’ll drive these jokers out of business, just you wait and see.”
But Trumpville needed someone to become its alpha dog
To spread its bogus narrative and be a Fox News hog
McCarthy said, “I’ll do it!” And with that the die was cast
The party crowd was confident with Kevin at the bat
He fumed at companies alarmed at GOP intentions
To limit voter access and to undermine elections
He tried his best to cower them; he postured and he huffed
And Trumpville? Well, they loved it; they just couldn’t get enough
In Trumpville they exclaimed with joy, “We’ve got’ em on the run!
“The game will be a shambles — it’s going to be such fun
“The fans will get behind us, and when you see the stands
“The crowd’ll be so tiny you could count them on two hands.”
But as the game approached the gleeful outlook would turn sour
The tickets started selling and were gone in a few hours
And Denver’s mayor said merrily, while standing strong and proud,
The city was preparing for a massive tourist crowd
Still Trumpville had its hopes alive, if even just a prayer
That for the party killjoys, vindication would be theirs
And as they slumbered in their beds the night before the game
They dreamed that Kevin would devise a way to win the day
But as we know the evening wouldn’t turn out as they’d wished
The game was well-attended; the action was delish
The politics were stripped away, the fans all smiles and laughter
They cheered for Trout, Tatis and Mookie, before, during and after.
And Coke and Delta? They went on with business just as usual
They barely faced a ripple from McCarthy’s mean accusals
So as with threats to boycott over football players kneeling
The flap left little damage — except to Trumpville’s feelings.
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout
But there is no joy in Trumpville — the mighty Kevin has struck out.