Thursday, March 13, 1997 | 11:59 a.m.
ALL THE WORLD loves a lover. Right?
"I don't think so," said San Francisco Examiner columnist Cynthia Robins.
She was referring to the "straight kissing episode" that has rocked the Castro district -- the gay district -- of San Francisco.
It all started last August, when a gay man complained to the city Human Rights Commission that his straight friends had been ejected from The Cafe -- a popular gay dance bar -- for kissing.
Actually, "kissing" is a passive way to describe this couple's public display of affection.
You've heard of the film "Bus Stop." If they made a film about this couple, it would be called "Please, Stop the Buss."
"The woman was leaned over backwards against the bar, with her head on the bar, and they were making out," said Manager Morgan Gorrono, who instituted a "no straight make-out policy" at The Cafe shortly after the incident.
Which led to a sanction against The Cafe by the Human Rights Commission.
"I'm supposed to meet with members of the commission (today)," Gorrono said. "They want me to post an apology to this couple on the front door of the bar and to run (another apology) in the gay paper (the Bay Area Reporter) for three weeks. I'm not going to do that."
Gorrono noted that the full name of the commission is Lesbian, Gay, Transexual, Bisexual and People-With-Aids Commission of San Francisco.
"It's really a long title," Gorrono said. "I don't think it's here to defend two people drunk at a bar."
Gorrono has since modified his dictum to outlaw public displays of affection by either straights or gays.
But so far, the commission has not been assuaged, and the calls from reporters have not ceased.
It certainly can be a queer world.
And a curious one.
Gorrono has weathered calls from hundreds of journalists from as far away as Malaysia in recent days since the story broke in the Examiner.
"Can you call me back?" he told the SUN on Tuesday. "I'm on hold with the BBC."
What is it about the "no kissing" story that interests so many people?
That fact that it targeted straights is sure to raise some eyebrows. But Gorrono explained that the sight of two heterosexual people making out in a gay bar is as offensive to gays as the sight of two homosexual people kissing in a public place.
"This is one of our sanctuaries where gay people can be themselves," Gorrono said. "They don't want to see that."
But Robins believes there's more to it than that.
"I think PDAs (public displays of affection) really bother some people, especially those who are alone or in relationships that are screwed up," Robins said.
And who knows, if the ban on PDAs is upheld in San Francisco, it could lead to similar bans on rude, offensive behavior in other major cities.
Such as Las Vegas.
Uh-oh.
That would mean so many poker players would be banned from casino card rooms that I wouldn't be able to find a game on a Saturday night.
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