Monday, March 31, 1997 | 11:59 a.m.
That gurgling you hear is the sound of yet another specimen dropping into the crab tank of talk television. Or is it the audience, drowning in a rising tide of abrasive yak? Either way, here comes Jackie Mason! The comic will team with celebrity divorce lawyer Raoul Felder for a new show called "Crossing the Line," to debut April 15. Don't look for Mason to wrestle Rosie O'Donnell for Nicest Talk Show honors; his program is described as "hard-hitting yet humorous, with an in-your-face attitude," as if that somehow distinguishes it from most of its cousins. "Crossing the Line" will appear on public television, whose appetite for hot shout is apparently unsatisfied by "Crossfire." "We'll be pioneers on the frontier of truth," Mason says, loading his prairie schooner with shows about crime -- the debut topic -- food, health and the media. The frontier of truth, by the way, "may be located somewhere along the Kansas-Missouri border." Hard-hitting! Humorous! In our face! Makes us wish we lived within rabbit-ear distance of New York, L.A., San Francisco, Denver or Atlanta, the only markets in which the show will air.
Briefly
*When Shaquille O'Neal says, "I just want to maximize my potential as a person," your first thought is naturally, Two three-syllable words in one sentence? But big plans need big syllables, and the big guy has big plans. Alas for L.A. Lakers fans, they don't involve basketball.No, he wants to be the "ultimate businessman," he said the other day, promoting his latest rap CD, "You Can't Stop the Reign." Laid up for weeks with a knee tweak, Shaq has put his time to good use. He now has his own record company and a line of clothing, perhaps stylish leisure-wear for the hoops-skirting athlete; no doubt he's up to his wazoo in post-"Kazaam" movie offers as well. Can a talk show be far behind?
*Late-breaking gossip from last month's Grammy Awards: Rock grrrl Tracy Bonham reports being thrilled to tears when she met Stevie Wonder backstage. "My hand was all wet from tears. So I shook his hand, and my tears soaked into his skin -- and I thought that was kind of beautiful." Wonder was similarly moved. "Stop your damn crying," he said.
My favorite Martin
Unless you live on the Kansas-Missouri border, you're probably familiar with Martin Lawrence's attempts to maximize his potential as a person through repeated bouts of legal turmoil: harassment accusations on the set of his sitcom "Martin," and several gun-related incidents. He took another shot at personal growth just the other day by allegedly punching a man at an L.A. nightclub. Surely, you're thinking, the man must have swung first, or said something truly offensive, to prompt such violent action from a highly maximized being like Martin Lawrence. It's even worse; the man bumped into Martin while dancing. Upon being decked, the man had Lawrence arrested. He's out on bail, and arraignment is set for April 25. "Stop Your Damn Crying: Fox Stars Out of Control," on the next Jackie and Shaquie!
Compiled by Scott Dickensheets
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