It’s time to provide spouse-to-spouse translation

Dick Doyle

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 | 4:07 p.m.

If you are without your wristwatch and do not have a direct line to a clock, a guy need go no further to get the time than by asking his spouse "How long before you'll be ready?"

Risking my life, my future and tonight's dinner, I am hereby giving male readers a time schedule as provided by a most excellent timekeeper — my wife.

"In a minute" — means within 10 minutes.

"I'm almost ready" — means "lock the front door, turn out the lights in the kitchen and give me another five minutes."

"Are you ready?" — means she's stalling for time and rushing to get ready as earlier promised.

"Ready in five minutes"— see first item on this list.

"Ready when you are" — means she's trying to obfuscate. At this point, I could easily become confused!

You get the point. I could go on — but she says she's ready to go and that she's at the kitchen door waiting for me.

•••

We spent a few days recently taking a quickie 100-mile vacation to Laughlin.

I wanted to get an idea of how the casinos were doing and how Clark County's southernmost outpost was weathering the economic downturn.

Let me tell you, midweek the place is jumping!

Seniors were most prominent on the casino floors, as they usually are. Dollar machine players were as plentiful as penny machine players and the restaurants were pretty well occupied at the noon hour and during the 4-6 p.m. early bird hours (seniors like to eat then, I'm told).

Traffic was fairly heavy much of the time we were there — both incoming and outgoing. But, there appeared to be little motoring interest beyond the hotels along the river.

So, we decided to drive a bit to see how and where residents of Laughlin live.

Wow! The inland growth since our last visit is substantial. Residential development along the Needles Highway (which parallels the Colorado River but is less than half a dozen miles inland) is huge.

Laughlin has become much more than a strip of hotels along the Colorado River. It's a real city.

Laughlin's gaming traffic, if parking lot surveys are indicative, is mainly from California, something that faces interruption if a long-planned Indian casino is built along Interstate 40, some four miles west of Needles. The Fort Mojave Indian Tribe remains in negotiations with San Bernardino County over reimbursements for social services and public services such as fire and police, traffic and road expansion. When will the proposed casino be built? Not soon but it will be constructed and the impact on Laughlin could be major. Make a Laughlin visit. It's worth the drive and it's an inexpensive getaway.