The Elevator: Failing football editions

By Ron Kantowski

Saturday, Oct. 10, 2009 | 2 a.m.

Who’s going to the penthouse in local sports — and who’s getting the shaft:

GOING UP

Deadspin athletic director: Notice I said “Deadspin” not “deadbeat.” Former UNLV athletic director Mike Hamrick is living among women at his new school, Marshall University, impressing the mostly irreverent sports Web site Deadspin, which said: “Until he can find permanent housing, Mike Hamrick is living in an all-female dorm wing. He’s living every man’s dream, except the women are all half his age. So, yeah, he’s living every man’s dream.”

Early to rise: And early to race. February’s Las Vegas 400 will start at noon instead of 1:30 p.m. at the urging of NASCAR, which thinks earlier start times will help put the brakes on plummeting TV ratings. That means Mayor Oscar Goodman and Tony Stewart are going to have to get up earlier than usual, which could be a problem, and race fans will be drinking mass quantities of Budweiser earlier than usual, which also could be a problem.

Four for Fore: Longtime Las Vegas PGA of America professional Jimmie Bullard, former UNLV great Edward Fryatt, Rebels coach Dwaine Knight and golf author and personality Jack Sheehan will be inducted into the Las Vegas Golf Hall of Fame during a ceremony Thursday night at TPC at Summerlin, site of next week’s Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open. The inductees have promised their acceptance speeches will be shorter than the name of our PGA Tour stop. Except for Sheehan.

Men about town: It’s now official. You cannot attend a Las Vegas grand opening, benefit, gala, golf outing, PTA meeting, bar mitzvah or carwash without bumping into either Lon Kruger or Terry Fator. Or both, as was the case at the Las Vegas Bowl luncheon I attended. The UNLV basketball coach and Mirage headliner must have cloned themselves years ago because when it comes to getting around, these two do it better than Brian Wilson. Getting bugged drivin’ up and down the same old Strip? Not these two.

GOING DOWN

Blue on red: “I want to strongly urge all UNLV fans to come out and cheer on the Rebels so we don’t have more blue than red in the stands,” coach Mike Sanford wrote about tonight’s game against BYU in his column, part of one of those promotional features in the other newspaper. Rebels fans, on the other hand, strongly urge Sanford to tighten up his defense, which allowed 63 points and 773 yards last week, before specifying what color shirts they wear to the game.

No shirts, no shoes, no future: Rick Mueller, vice president of the United Football League, showed up for a TV interview with the Sun wearing shorts and sandals, then said Las Vegas deserved a pro football team. Why? Because we fervently supported the 38 other wannabe pro football teams that failed to make a go of it here? Because we fervently support UNLV football, lose or lose? Somebody get this guy a six-pack of Corona and Jimmy Buffett tickets because he’s talking like a Parrothead.