What if you don’t fill out your census?

By Ken Miller (contact)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010 | 3:40 p.m.

"Your response is required by law." Those ominous words were hard to miss on the envelope containing this year's U.S. Census form. Surely this means bad things for those who don't get their form submitted by the designated deadline, right?

Well, not quite. According to Leo Cardenas, media specialist with the U.S. Census' Denver office, the fine for ignoring the census was upped to $5,000 in 1984, but to date no one has ever been fined. "It's not our intention to fine anyone," Cardenas says.

Nope, turns out the most the average Las Vegan can expect is lots of attention from the bureau, which will have 4,500 troops on the ground. (They'll also be bombarded by the state of Nevada, which spent $959,000 to promote the census). First they'll try three phone calls to your house, followed by up to three attempts to get the info in person. If that's unsuccessful, they'll talk to neighbors on the sides and in front of your house. Then the bureau gives up because the info to be gained is outweighed by the cost of getting said info.

But you'll still end up indirectly paying a fine, people. Pam DuPre, the public information officer with Secretary of State Ross Miller's office, says every uncompleted census form costs Nevada $917 per person per year for a decade. "And it's not only money we wouldn't get, but congressional representation," since congressional districts are determined by population. Oh, by the way, we finished ours in 50 seconds. Beat that, lazy-asses.

By the way, if you have not received your census form, do not panic. You have several options available to you:

• You can pick up census forms at a variety of locations, which you can find by going to the U.S. Census Bureau's website, 2010.census.gov, and going to the "Mail Participation Rate" section. Click on "Questionnaire Assistance Center." At the next page, click on "Find a Questionnaire Assistance Center," at which point you can type in your ZIP code and be shown locations in your area.

• Wait until April 12, at which point you can request forms by calling (866) 872-6868.

• Wait until May 1, at which point the Census Bureau will begin sending out volunteers door-to-door to get your information in person.