Feel at home in your house of worship

By Suzanne M. Ellis, Special to The Sunday

Sunday, Nov. 22, 2015 | 2 a.m.

In the early days of religion, believers met in people’s homes. The small, simple gatherings were referred to in ancient Greece as “ekklesias,” a term that meant to congregate.

The churches, temples and mosques we still refer to as “houses” of worship have come a long way. If you’re new to an area or simply searching for something new, finding the right place to worship can be daunting.

Hunting for a house of worship is a lot like hunting for a home: it can be deeply personal and often is one of the most important decisions a person makes.

We gathered tips to make the journey a bit less daunting.

• A good fit. When people go house hunting, they typically look for a size that’s right for them. Is it big enough to meet their needs, or is it too big and overwhelming? It’s the same with places of worship. Some people feel more comfortable in intimate settings, while others gravitate to congregations that can number in the thousands. Decide which type fits you best.

• A sense of warmth. Regardless of size, does the church, temple or mosque feel warm and comforting or cold and inhospitable? Does it feel homey or impersonal? First impressions, whether in a house or a house of worship, often can be instrumental in the decision-making process.

• A solid foundation. When visiting houses of worship, pay close attention to how members act toward one another, not only during the service but before and after. If it’s offered, take part in fellowship time or other nonworship activities. A strong congregation is marked by love and caring; parishioners should be kind to visitors but not pushy.

If your first few experiences are positive, take the next step: Ask about community-outreach programs. The real test of a solid religious community is being involved not only in one another’s lives but in the lives of those beyond the organization’s walls.

• Are young people present? A place of worship with a strong presence of children in the nursery, school or youth groups most likely has a solid foundation and a bright future. Pews filled primarily with senior citizens may signal shaky ground.

• Keep it simple. When you attend services, seek to worship rather than to evaluate. Don’t put too much weight in your decision-making process on the sermons or homilies you hear. Leaders will come and go; it’s the members of the congregation who sustain one another as time passes.

• The sound of music. If music is important to your worship experience, a great choir, band or clergy member can make a big difference. In some houses of worship, singing and music are integral. Others don’t incorporate any music, and that works fine for some. Seek an overall environment that works well for you.

• What to wear. In some places of worship, you may see the majority of members wearing jeans, shorts, T-shirts and sneakers. In others, suits and dresses are the preferred fashion. Just ask yourself, “What’s right for me?” The good news for many is that dress codes have relaxed, and it’s not unusual to see people in suits and ties sitting next to people wearing jeans and sneakers.

• Hang in there. Consider your time searching for a house of worship a time to grow spiritually. Don’t be in a rush to find the right fit, but be realistic. Remember, no place is likely to be perfect. Decide what is most important to you, and chances are, when you find it, you’ll know.