Confront school bullies, even if they’re your own kids

Monday, Sept. 21, 2015 | 2 a.m.

With the return of school, children may be sharing stories about being bullied by classmates or older children, the sorts of activities that can deflate a child — or far worse — and break a parent’s heart, if not stir them into seething anger. Even more pervasive and dangerous is cyber-bullying via social media, leading in some cases to its victims committing suicide after being publicly and incessantly humiliated.

At least in our schools, there’s some good news: The Clark County School District is being more aggressive than ever to try to nip campus bullying in the bud, thanks in part to tougher state laws approved by the 2015 Legislature and signed by the governor.

Among the most important — and time-consuming but worth it — is the requirement that when a bullying incident is seen by or brought to the attention of a school employee — a teacher, a cafeteria worker, an administrator — the school must notify the parents of both the alleged aggressor and the victim that same day. The law also requires the matter be investigated within 48 hours.

In other words, bullying won’t be tolerated, and schools are supposed to jump on it immediately.

To that end, the school district has a website for parents with access to computers — ccsd.net/students/bully — where bullying incidents can be reported. The person filing the report can remain anonymous. Parents without computer access can call the school.

The website also offers valuable links about bullying, including the growing use of social media in taunting children, that are worth examining.

Short of a child telling a parent about a bullying incident, there are telltale signs that your student may be a bully’s target: the child is withdrawn, avoids groups, plays alone at recess or lunch, is sullen or depressed, has falling grades or simply doesn’t want to go to school.

With alert teachers and staff trained in how to spot campus bullying, and with the easy reporting system and the promise of a quick response and resolution, there is greater hope that bullying can be reduced.

Our concern, though, is that the promise to notify parents promptly when bullying is claimed and quickly launch an investigation will take time away from school employees who already have full plates. As a result, incidents of students being even just subtly aggressive toward others may be dismissed simply as “kids being kids” and not be pursued. In a no-tolerance environment, that would be a bad choice, taking us back to square one.

The responsibility of thwarting bullies extends beyond educators. Parents need to be alert to the possibility that their own children may be bullies.

“Bullying is a learned behavior,” said Brandon Moeller, who oversees the training of district employees in spotting and dealing with bullies. “It’s learned from a neighbor, a friend, a relative, and students begin to do it themselves. They find that it gives them power, a feeling of worth.”

And in fact, bullies frequently display wrongly applied characteristics of leadership that are better played out on a sports team or other extracurricular activity, Moeller said.

Beyond responding to specific incidents of bullying, the school district has adopted broader strategies, by stressing the importance of self- and mutual respect. That theme will be drummed into students during a “Week of Respect” that starts Sept. 28.

Among the activities: videos for children in sixth grade through high school with such titles as “Confessions of a Bully,” “Digital Smarts: Protecting your Reputation” and “Bullying: There’s Always a Way Out.”

For children in kindergarten through fifth grade, the subjects are just as profound: “Rumors, Gossip and Teasing: It Hurts,” “When It’s Important to Tell,” “Frenemies,” “When You Feel Left Out” and “Words That Hurt.”

Adults on school campuses and parents at home must take bullying seriously. Yes, kids can be kids, but we all need to watch when they cross the line and respond swiftly. We are grateful for those who do.