A (broken) wing and a prayer - college football’s first weekend

By Ryan Greene

Tuesday, Sept. 2, 2008 | 9:03 p.m.

Breaking your arm sucks. Breaking it doing something stupid (like rollerblading, trying to prove you can still be 17 -- and instead, forcefully slamming into a wall) sucks even more. Needing surgery to repair said mistake sucks the most.

Last Thursday, (successfully, I think) I went under the knife. Mom flew in from Chicago to play the role of caretaker for the weekend, as the Labor Day weekend was officially shot ... or so it appeared at the time.

In my anesthetic haze, somehow I forgot this was college football's first weekend. That said, here's what I recall from a beautiful Las Vegas weekend spent mostly on the couch, hopped up on painkillers with a cat sleeping on my feet.

--First, moving back a few days, picture this: I walked into the sports book at the Green Valley Ranch last Tuesday with some pals to make my bets for the weekend. The injury occurred the previous day, meaning I headed in with my left arm in a huge cast at a 90-degree angle, a sling and with cuts on my nose/chin. This looks kosher, right? I'm walking into a sports book looking like I'd just taken a beat down for failure to pay up. Made me feel great about life, let me tell you.

--Onto the surgical table ...

Right when I got in there and laid down, a med student started prepping my arm. Here's how our convo went ...

Med Student: "So, you like college football?"

Ryan Greene: "Sure, who doesn't?"

Med Student: "You like Florida -35?"

Ryan Greene: "That's a lot of points."

... aaaaand zonk. Next thing I knew, I woke up on my couch at home.

Only in Las Vegas.

-- I've gotta say, as a kid who grew up in Chicago in the 90s, there was nothing more satisfying than watching Dave Wannstedt do exactly what you knew he would against Bowling Green. Each time ESPN showed that scrunched up face of frustration, the arm momentarily stopped throbbing out of joy. Seriously. Twisted sense of pleasure, but whatever.

-- In case you didn't hear, Chris 'Beanie' Wells got hurt. If you tuned into ESPN at any point Saturday afternoon and watched for more than 20 seconds, then I'm sure you heard.

-- The Big Ten will be awful this year.

-- The offenses in the Big 12 (minus Texas A&M and Baylor) alone are worth buying a dish. The league's other 10 teams all won, scoring an average of 46.9 points. The only school out of those 10 not to crack the 40-point barrier? Oklahoma State. They scored 39.

-- Corso is always wrong ... i.e. Clemson, Pitt, Rutgers, etc.

-- You know you're desperate when you're actually watching an entire half of Northwestern and Syracuse. It's even sadder when you're lying around while mom cleans your apartment and cooks you enough food to last the rest of the calendar year at the same time (thanks again, though).

-- The most impressive offense televised in Las Vegas on Saturday? Missouri. No question. Chase Daniel makes it look too easy. And Jeremy Maclin, well, he's essentially what Chuck Norris would be if he put on the black and gold. Looks like the Tigers are shedding that underachiever label this year. And Clemson looks like it's just starting to slip it on.

-- Don't put Utah on too tall of a pedestal for for beating Michigan. Yeah, yeah, The Big House isn't the world's easiest place to win. But take it from someone who's followed Michigan football for 15 years - that is not your typical Michigan team. Eesh. Though I'm still not gonna predict a UNLV win.

-- Gotta save the best for last.

So Sunday night, after dropping mom at the airport, I headed to the GVR again to cash in my tickets from the weekend (broke even, which is never awful).

While looking at the lines for Monday's games just for kicks, two of them looked too damn good to pass on: Fresno State (+3) at Rutgers, Tennessee (-4) at UCLA.

Boom. Done. Took 20 bucks, put it on the two of them.

Not until I got into the parking lot did I realize my flaw: I bet on the first half lines. It's cool. I'm not embarrassed to put it out there, as I'm still pretty much a rookie in this town.

After thinking for a second, I liked my chances, thinking maybe I'll have better luck with a mistake bet rather than on one in which I think I'm beating the house before the coin is even flipped.

So then on Monday, Fresno State goes into the halftime locker room in Piscataway tied, 0-0. Whew. One for one (thanks to Ray Rice-less Rutgers getting inside the FSU 10 twice and somehow screwing the pooch ... twice).

Finally, it was time for the nightcap. The first half in the Rose Bowl was pure comedy, with two young, inexperienced quarterbacks throwing dying quails all over the place.

Tied, 7-7, the Vols start to move inside the two-minute mark before halftime. OK, here we go. Gonna cover.

Then, on fourth-and 14 at the UCLA 38 and about 30 seconds to go, they decide to try a 55-yard field goal. The first of many questionable Phil Fullmer decisions on the night (the last being getting way too conservative with the ball, down three in OT).

Of course, it missed badly. But Rick Neuheisel decided he liked me. He then made a dumb choice of his own, deciding to try and move the ball a bit rather than just get to OT, despite Kevin Craft doing his best Rex Grossman impression under center the whole time.

And then it happened. With 23 seconds to go. Pick six. Don't remember who did it. Don't care. For a moment, the throbbing in the arm subsided. It was just awesome.

Of course, by sharing this with you, I'm now hosed at the book for the next week. Who cares? I'm a rookie.

Again - Only in Las Vegas ... with a broken arm.