Chasing Shadows at Work

Monday, July 14, 2008 | 1 p.m.

I believe in people. I believe that given the choice, most people want to do good, act ethically and morally and contribute to something greater than themselves. The problem is that many people spend more time trying to be what others want them to be rather than who they want to be. They are influenced by other people, events and experiences – some they remember and some they don’t.

As people move through their daily lives and activities, the disconnect between the people they really are and the people they want us to see grows inside them, sometimes silencing the good they have to offer the world. The shadows that exist in all of us provide a glimpse of this disconnect, though we do our best to hide it.

Too often, however, these shadows manifest themselves as behavior we are not even aware of — or have little capacity to understand, especially in the moment. And that brings us to work. What is work? A place we go every day? An identity? A series of interconnected relationships? For many, it is all of the above. Relationships at work are very complex because each person with whom we interact is at a different level of emotional and psychological development. Therefore, a key to developing successful relationships at work is our ability to understand ourselves, our shadows and how they influence our behavior.

Cheryl Peppers and Alan Briskin^[1] describe a shadow as the aspects of ourselves that we do not like and that we have suppressed deep inside. Rather than understanding these aspects, our rejection places them in a covert relationship with the rest of who we are. These shadows surface during times of stress or fear. Confronting these shadows within ourselves is critical to making the most of our interpersonal relationships and helps us to grow and learn from ourselves and our mistakes. Consider some of the common shadows we see daily at work:

• Insecurity. This shadow is shown in the person in our office who appears very confident on the outside and in touch with himself, someone with all the answers. Although this person speaks of collaboration, his shadow will not let him truly collaborate, often out of fear of losing his status or identity. Insecurity plays out in many other ways, including excessive anger over loss of control, resistance to change and in making decisions too quickly.

• Coercive power. Power is an intoxicant. Many people who have achieved a certain status in a company get caught up in the shadow of power. This shadow believes that a person must dictate outcomes because that is the person’s role within the organization. This use of command and control or “telling” strategy generally achieves compliance but in the process creates a dependent and de-spirited organization.

• It’s all on my shoulders. In many organizations there is the person who gets caught up in feeling that if he doesn’t do the task, it won’t be done well or at all. This shadow sends signals to others that there is a distrust in them. This shadow self-perpetuates. The more the individual practices as if he is the only one who can do the task, the more reliant the organization becomes on him. This constrains learning and growing, eventually resulting in resentment and burnout of the individual and disempowerment within the organization.

• Fear of ambiguity. People who fear ambiguity tend to forgo decisions because “there just isn’t enough information.” This shadow is also tied to a fear of not being in complete control. This shadow fosters slow movement and sometimes the development of processes and procedures for everything.

• The pleaser. This shadow manifests itself in “flip-flop” behavior. These people want to make everyone happy and have difficulty following through on tough issues and decisions, especially those involving people. They have difficulty making decisions because it could result in someone not being pleased, which can rob an organization of its potential to achieve.

There are various shadows playing out in individuals at all levels of most organizations. These shadows are keeping these organizations from fulfilling their goals and desires, and the end result is that the shadows are running our organizations. This should make understanding and addressing these shadows important. It should also be apparent that we must prepare to do the individual “inner-self” work required so our organizations can survive and thrive beyond their current levels of success.

This column was highly influenced by Russ S. Moxley’s book, “Leadership and Spirit.”^[2] In the next column, we will delve into Mr. Moxley’s book further and discuss options about what to do once we understand that we have been chasing shadows at work.

I’d like to hear from you:

• Do you know people exhibiting these shadows in your organization? Are you one of them?

• Do you believe that doing the hard individual “inner-self” work can benefit your organization?

• Are you willing to delve into your “inner-self”?

Until next time …

Craig

^[1] Cheryl Peppers and Alan Briskin, “Bringing Your Soul to Work,” 2000 Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.

^[2] Leadership and Spirit, Breathing New Vitality and Energy into Indivduals and Organizations, Russ S. Moxley, 2000-Jossey-Bass Inc. Publishers