The Small Lebowski

Monday, Feb. 11, 2008 | 4:47 p.m.

When people ask me why I write about sports for a living I usually tell them "because I can't do anything else."

But upon further review, I think I could become a professional bowler.

I was flipping channels Sunday, waiting for a good women's basketball game to start -- because what else is there to watch during February? -- when pro bowling from the west Texas town of El Paso came on TV.

In the semifinals, Mike DeVaney, a pro (at least that's what it says in the media guide) from San Diego, rolled a 135 -- an all-time low in a TV match. The previous record was 136 by Donald Breihan in the Brunswick Senior Slam at the Orleans in June 2000.

You couldn't make the Raccoon Lodge bowling team with a 135. But they paid DeVaney $6,000 for it.

They should start calling him "The Small Lebowski." The next time DeVaney plays, they're going to bring those gutter bumpers out.

In the finals, Chris Barnes, who was last seen blowing a 52-pin lead in the seventh frame in the finals of the H&R Block Tournament of Champions at Red Rock Lanes for his seventh consecutive defeat in a championship round, beat Tommy Jones 241-158.

Barnes' key to victory was playing the outside part of the lane while the other finalists played the inside. That must have been the part where they used tequila instead of oil to lubricate the lane.