The hot Backstreet lads are back into town

At Jive Records, the Backstreet Boys' music label, even the operator has been trained to detect the scent of female desperation.

Asked to be connected with the Backstreet Boys' management, he tauntingly demands, "What's the magic word?"

I'm momentarily stumped. "Hottie?" "Sizzling?" "Beefcakiest?"

Stuff it, you sadistic phone-answering egomaniac also comes to mind. However, "please" seems to do the trick.

Of course, there's a reason for such highfalutin' New York-laden attitude.

You see, the Backstreet Boys, who fill the MGM Grand Garden Arena tonight with their bubblegum, R&B, gag-me-now harmonies, have got it Goin' On!

That's "goin' on," with an apostrophe and perhaps a howl, not "going on" properly, like a schoolmarm.

Yes, they've got it goin' on -- at least, according to the cover of their "unauthorized biography" by uber-fan Anna Louise Golden, which promises eight pages of "Cool Color Photos!" and the "sizzling inside story of the world's hottest band!"

"Step into their awesome world," the breathless copy continues. "See how they make their way-cool music, what makes them tick, and what kind of girls they like."

They are "ultra-fine guys," the jacket cover gushes on (and on), and they have "millions of hearts pounding."

Funny, I thought that pounding was in my head.

Straight out of Orlando, the BSB (as those in the know refer to them for short) is made up of five unabashed celebrity-seekers, aged 18 to 26, whose main qualifications, as is de rigueur these days, seems to be dancing well, singing in key and breaking the hearts of teeny-boppers everywhere.

Already, they've achieved the kind of status in pop music that makes you think ... well, maybe the New Kids on the Block weren't so bad after all.

And yes, although they're all technically adults now, it matters not, for "no matter how old we get, we'll always be boys," Richardson explains in the book.

They claim they are learning how to play instruments; they say someday, they really, really hope to write their own material.

Still, the nasty old critics have dubbed them the "new Menudo," the "white Boyz II Men" and even the "male Spice Girls" for the manufactured role each seems to play.

There is Howie Dorough, the "flirtatious Latin lover"; Kevin Richardson, the oldest and thus the "responsible" one; Nick Carter, the angelic-looking "prankster"; Brian Littrell, the "big-time hottie"; and A.J. McLean, "the sexy romantic."

But, unlike the Spice Girls, the BSB are quick to point out that they weren't "cast" but came together naturally.

The members formed in Florida in 1993, taking their name from the Backstreet Market, a popular local hangout in Orlando, and playing initially at Sea World and local high school gymnasiums.

Their first release, "We've Got It Goin' On," never really did go anywhere -- in America, at least. It topped out at No. 69 on the charts. Ironically, it scored in Europe, Canada and even Asia.

"At the time, the music scene wasn't ready for a group like us," Dorough explained in a June press conference. "Alternative music was really strong, rap was making a strong impact. It was just a matter of timing. It seems like (the) pop sound is making an influence back on America now."

It took another few years before they finally achieved their first genuine U.S. megahit, "Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)," which went platinum -- three times -- in 1997, along with the release of the U.S. version of the Backstreet Boys album. They have followed this up with the ubiquitous hit single "As Long As You Love Me" and the new release "I'll Never Break Your Heart."

By 1997, the BSB undeniably had something goin' on.

Before long, they were popping up on tons of fan websites, merchandising tie-ins, even thrusting their image onto throw pillows. Teen People magazine slapped them on this month's cover; Disney Adventures magazine rated them "five stars" on the applause meter; and Seventeen magazine dubbed them "pop's beefcakiest bunch."

They played Madison Square Garden in New York, appeared on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," "The American Music Awards" and "The Billboard Awards" in Las Vegas.

As bio author Golden so movingly describes the New York concert: "The fans screaming for them were touched ... This was their music ... performed by five guys they'd only recently come to know, but already cared about very, very deeply."

I, too, had only recently come to know of them (when my editor assigned me the story a few days ago) but I, too, already cared very, very deeply.

Still, two days after my snivelling phone call to Jive Records, there was no word from the Backstreet Boys.

Three days later, still no word from the Backstreet Boys.

It was only heightening the anticipation.

Which one would I get to talk to? Thanks to the "eight pages of cool color photos" their faces were now burned into my subconscious. Thanks to the revelations gleaned from the "sizzling inside story," I knew oh-so-much about their "awesome world." It was almost as dreadful as being 13 again.

I'd read in Seventeen magazine how Nick was busy penning the BSB's soon-to-be- released comic book edition. Teen People magazine had disclosed that Brian was recovering from heart surgery. And Howie was tired from his solo promotional trip to South America.

I was at the point where I would even have settled for a pseudo BSB -- Aaron, Nick's 10-year-old brother who has already released an album of his own, nicely riding the BSB mania coattails and biding his time as a potential Menudo-like replacement.

Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on top?

Alas, there was to be no Backstreet Boy, not even a spare, not even with the magic word.

Seems they were busy, burned out, "maxed out on time" as kindly explained by their road publicist, Rey Roldan, from Jive Records.

My heart was breakin'. I was bummin'. Despite their sweet songs promising "I'll Never Break Your Heart," the Backstreet Boys had done just that.

But who can blame them? They've simply got too much goin' on.

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