Thursday, Jan. 8, 1998 | 9:25 a.m.
There are certain beliefs we hold to be true but which, in fact, may not be: that no one can see you pick your nose while you drive; that Doritos still makes regular-flavored chips; that talk-show hosts can make inflammatory and perhaps not entirely accurate assertions with impunity. Check that last one -- America's chateratti are under assault! G. Gordon Liddy, for one, is being sued by Jerry's Audio/Video in Phoenix for claiming on his radio show that it bungled the installation of his stereo. "Jerry does not know how to install anything. He couldn't install himself on a toilet," Liddy reportedly said, flashing the rapier wit that no doubt makes him the hit of Watergate reunions. The store counterclaims that Liddy's son insisted on doing the wiring himself; therein lie the screw-ups. Meanwhile, Oprah Winfrey will air her show from Texas later this month while she's in Amarillo fighting a defamation lawsuit brought by Texas cattlemen. They've got their Rocky Mountain oysters in a knot over a 1996 show touching on mad-cow disease. Although no cases have been reported in the U.S. -- despite the obvious symptoms in the final season of "Roseanne" -- the "Oprah" in question featured a Humane Society official speculating darkly on mysterious cow deaths here. Said a bugged Oprah, "It has just stopped me cold from eating another burger. I'm stopped." And such is her power to mold the junk-food habits of a nation that the cattlemen say they lost millions in business.
Making book
When your life plans no longer appear to be panning out -- that is, when you're Eddie Fisher in a contemporary music scene that continually poses the question, Eddie who? -- it's nice to have something to fall back on; in Fisher's case, that would be failed relationships with really interesting women. He's writing a tell-all book about his years with Debbie Reynolds and Liz Taylor. Sounds like a tome idea to us. "The focus of the book will be on the most complicated and publicized love story of the 20th century," Fisher says, apparently signaling his intent to include a chapter about the Julia Roberts-Lyle Lovett marriage. "I've had one hell of a life," he says, "and both success and failure have taught me valuable lessons," none of them apparently having to do with keeping his trap shut.
Boot Prince
Few things promise the shivery thrills of a rundown of Eddie Fisher's love life, but one of them is surely a Prince after-concert party. About 300 residents of Evansville, Ind., agreed, paying $15 each to attend a bash featuring The Artist Formerly Known as Whatever. Except Prince was a no-show, or rather not much of a show: he played billiards in a private room upstaris the whole time. However, partygoers who stuck around until 3 a.m. did, thrillingly, get to see him leave! "He ripped people off," bar owner Dan Harpole said angrily. "I was really disappointed in what he did to the fans here. They didn't get what they paid for." It has certainly stopped us cold from attending another Prince after-concert party. We're stopped!
Compiled by Scott Dickensheets
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