Columnist Ron Kantowski: World Cup captivates a new fan

THERE USED to be two things that would result in automatic expulsion from the fraternity of Red Blooded American Males.

One was owning a Barry Manilow record. The other was enduring an entire episode of "Melrose Place" and confessing it wasn't all that bad.

But once every quadrennium, when the World Cup soccer tournament pre-empts the morning SportsCenter on ESPN and "BodyShaping" or "Fitness Beach" or any of a myriad of workout shows featuring scantily clad women and palm trees over on The Deuce, another admission will get you 86'd from your friendly neighborhood sports bar.

So show me the red card. I've been watching the World Cup. And enjoying it.

Nothing against fabulous babes in sports bras pumping iron on the beaches of Aruba, but that's not sport. Ronaldo dribbling down the pitch, leaving not one or two but three Scottish defenders holding their bagpipes, may very well be the essence of sport (at least outside of the continental U.S.).

For the sake or argument, let's set aside our rabid provincialism for a moment. If you're among those enthralled by a pitcher's duel, believes a 7-6 football game makes for great theater or is fascinated by Princeton's deliberate backdoor attack, what's not to like about soccer?

Think about it: How many entertaining 21-14 football games has each of us witnessed? That's 3-2 in soccer. Likewise:

* You can't slam dunk in soccer, but who's to say a scissors kick -- when a player tumbles backward to strike a ball upside down -- isn't every bit as spectacular?

* Nobody pulls the string on his fastball like Greg Maddux -- unless it's Italy's Roberto Baggio on a penalty kick.

* Watching Barry Sanders make a cut, break into the secondary and run for about 50 yards on his way to a touchdown is something to savor. Last week, England's 18-year-old Michael Owen did that against Argentina to score one of the most sensational goals in World Cup history.

* And with time running out in a quarterfinal match, Holland's Frank de Boer struck a 60-yard pass in the direction of teammate Dennis Bergkamp, who was racing down the pitch to convert the winning goal in a 2-1 win over the Argentines. ABC's Roger Twibell likened it to Joe Montana-to-Jerry Rice.

It was better. All Rice did was catch the ball -- with his hands. Bergkamp corralled the long ball with his right foot, deked his defender out of position, and, in one fluid motion, volleyed the ball past the outstretched goalkeeper and into the net.

Sometimes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

But the best thing about the World Cup might be the enthusiasm of the fans who literally sing its praises.

There's a famous NFL Films clip from the Steel Curtain era during which a bunch of Steelers fans are mugging for the camera and singing (sort of) "We got a feeling, Pittsburgh's goin' to the Super Bowl!"

Well, at the World Cup, they sing and chant and whoop and holler and beat samba drums for the entire game. Only they do it in tune.

Sometimes, beauty is in the the ear of the beholder, too.

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