A brand-new wig

"I have 35 years worth of stuff to get over here tonight," announced Cher, opening her two-night stand at the MGM Grand Garden Friday. "I don't know how that happened, 'cause I'm not even 35 years old yet."

Until the show hit a deadly lull roughly halfway through, I could easily have believed her. Taking the stage to a Eurodisco reading of U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For," garbed in billowing warrior silks and boots seemingly designed to tread glacial ice - a My kabuki / Bozo the Clown / 'Braveheart' look - Cher came on as every bit the endearingly arrogant trouper, closer in spirit to Janet Jackson than Bette Midler. She changed costumes and wigs every eight to 10 minutes, belted out note-perfect versions of "The Power" and "Half-Breed," and stomped from one side of the stage to the other followed by dancers dressed in unfortunate druid drag.

It was a youthful, exuberant affair until the middle of the show, where Cher lumped a disproportionate number of power ballads - "After All," "I Found Someone," "We All Sleep Alone" - and the energy level took a dive. In fact, the middle third of the show was almost glum, book-ended by video montages of "Sonny and Cher" episodes and Cher's movie work that felt like eulogies. It made me feel every minute of Cher's 53 years. Placed in context with the show's brightly optimistic opening and closing, it didn't quite work.

No matter. Cher's fans are a devoted lot, receiving classic material like "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" with the same full-throated enthusiasm as music she put out this year, and it's a pleasure to watch her thank them and playfully diss them by turns.

Case in point: "(This one is for) all you gay guys who try to fall in love with me," she introduced "Walking In Memphis." It wasn't intended as a slight - Cher has repeatedly acknowledged the support of the Rainbow Nation. When a gay friend of mine - who, coincidentally, has used Cher as a source of inspiration for his drag routine for several years now - first played me the disco-ready "Believe" earlier this year, he raved: "She knows us better than Madonna."

Meaning: like any performer worth her salt, Cher recognizes the importance of playing directly at every portion of your fan base - those that blast your power ballads in the Range Rover, those that own a prized scratchy 45 of "I Got You Babe," and those that shake her music down in gay-oriented discotheques. She plays to all her strengths at once, which means that certain portions of her audience will like certain portions of her live show more than others.

Her power ballad set was flattening. There was little doubt that the audience wouldn't have minded shamelessly shaking their stuff for two hours. In the face of her early bragging, Cher's reduction was confusing. She should have spread the ballads out and at least one of them should be exchanged for a number the audience can rally behind.

Like "Believe." By the time "Believe" rolled around, she had done a little something for everyone, and every last member of the audience was on their feet cheering the disco anthem. Two acrobats twirled from the ceiling, the choreography kicked up a notch and the Queen of the Festival strutted the stage in a mirrored vest worthy of her Bob Mackie heyday. It was exactly what one would expect from a Cher concert, and even if the singer/actress will never see 35 again, at least she's having fun pacing the calendar.

Opener Cyndi Lauper had her own kind of fun. With her bright blue hair and shoeless feet, the scrappy 1980's icon played crowd-pleasing versions of her hits, including "True Colors" and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." She watched Cher from stage left, focused and attentive: the neo-diva learning a few tricks from the classic diva. With a few more hits and a few more wigs, she, too, will walk that hallowed ground.

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