Columnist Sandra Thompson: Child support can be heavy load for father

A NEW YORK Family Court "lowered" child support payments for a divorced father because his two daughters spent 40 percent of the time with him.

While that seems reasonable, the "lowered" amount was anything but. The difference was a whopping $3.72.

According to court documents, Aaron's share was "$1,168.72 a month in child support. The number is rounded down to $1,165 because he has the children 40 percent of the time."

His attorney was dumbfounded. Aaron considered it just another strange financial twist in the divorce, which took three years to become final.

From the time his wife filed for divorce in September 1993 to the final decree in September 1996, Aaron says his support payments, including spousal support, fluctuated between $1,600 and $1,700 a month.

"I agreed to the temporary order of support and to pay things without realizing the amount I was paying," Aaron says.

For example, he had to pay two-thirds of the food bill and most of the household expenses, which a court document detailed right down to replacement light bulbs and door mats.

Aaron's attorney seemed exasperated by some of the "picky" details in the case.

"I don't do cookie jars," the attorney wrote Aaron after receiving a letter from Aaron's wife's attorney that demanded return of an antique cookie jar she said he took from the house.

"If you took it, return it," the attorney added. Aaron says it was an example of just how petty divorce squabbles can become. The cookie jar had been stored elsewhere in the house, he says, and wasn't missing.

His attorney also had to write the wife's attorney to tell her to allow the daughters to bring clothing when they stayed overnight at their father's. She had refused to let them bring a change of clothes.

Of course, those letters cost each party a pretty penny.

Aaron owned a business at the time, but says the earnings calculations on which his support was based were erroneous since they only took into account gross profits, which inflated his salary.

Aaron says he didn't balk at paying support, but couldn't always pay the full amount. He fell behind by $9,000 before the divorce even became final, he says.

When his business failed, he declared bankruptcy.

Although he says he loves his daughters, he couldn't stay in New York. Three and a half years ago, he moved to Las Vegas. But the back child support continued to mount.

Part of the reason, he says, is a mistake by the court. In August 1995, he says, he agreed to pay $100 a week, which was entered in the court record. Aaron figured if that's what the court ruled, that's what he would pay.

Although the judge later admitted in court documents that the court made the error, he chastised Aaron for "continued attempts to capitalize on the error."

Aaron is paying $800 a month, an amount he says he voluntarily increased twice since he moved to Las Vegas because his salary increased.

But even with that, he's $43,000 in the hole.

Unlike a father mentioned here recently who outright refuses to pay his obligations, Aaron says he's trying to make things right.

If child support collection units are truly interested in getting payments for children, they should take into consideration that Aaron, and others in similar situations, are paying something -- and it's no small sum.

Aaron wants to be a part of his daughters' lives, even if it's long distance, but he believes "courts are chasing fathers away."

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