Letter: Stroke victim's spouse looking for support

Besides being an invalid, she has dementia pretty bad by now. She hates being at the nursing home and most of the time she hates me. She was a good wife to me for all of these 44 years together. She thinks I have betrayed her.

Often after visiting her, I go to my car and fight tears. She is totally miserable and cannot understand that I could not go on looking after her. I miss the person she used to be very much.

I have tried to find a support group of people who also have a spouse in a nursing home. I have called numbers and do not find any such group. I'd like to be around other people that have had to place their spouse in a home. I am not a widower, I am not divorced, I don't have an illness, I am just lonely.

My wife at 63 years old is like a person 80 or older. Her mother is 79, but has the vitality of a woman 50 to 60 years old. She lives in Tulsa, Okla., and had to put her husband in a home; there she goes to a support group for spouses who have had to place their loved ones in a home.

If there is such a group in Las Vegas, maybe it would also write to me with information. I would appreciate any help offered. I don't seem to fit in any place now. It is worse than death. I am married, but I don't have a wife with me.

Michael Gelbhar

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