Columnist Melissa Schorr: Starting to sweat over airport exercise

You all thought it was soooo odd when you heard about the woman who had hooked up a slot machine to some exercise equipment.

You scoffed at the idea of working out in a change-clanging casino, while others around you were slurping drinks and puffing on cigarettes.

You ridiculed the thought that anyone would want to get in shape while they gambled. (After all, even pulling the one arm on the bandit has proven too strenuous for those who rely on the spin reel buttons.)

But why weren't you laughing when the news came that McCarran International Airport was building a 12,000-square-foot, 24-hour exercise center in its basement?

Yes, the Clark County Commission recently gave its approval (and $900,000) for 24 Hour Fitness to build the facility, which will allow travelers to purchase a day pass and partake in exercise classes, use weights or even take in a pre-flight Jacuzzi.

Everyone seems to think this idea is just nifty.

I suppose it may be for the airport's 10,000 employees, many of whom are already 24 Hour Fitness members and can use the handy on-site gym. But for travelers? Pleeeze.

What are these people thinking? That one last little flex on the weight machine will miraculously help them fit into their bikinis by the time they land in Maui?

And what kind of aerobics classes will this gym be offering? Luggage Lifting Lunges? Kickboxing Terrorists?

Call me a slacker, but the last thing I want to do when I'm traveling is step up on a StairMaster. Traveling is mind-numbingly exhausting (and hair-flattening) enough without having to bring sweat into the equation.

One airport spokeswoman actually suggested this was a preferable alternative to what people normally do when faced with a wait: "sitting and staring at your shoes."

Au contraire: I would suggest that people sit and stare at their shoes because that's about all they have the energy to do.

Think about it -- when you're sitting in a terminal, which do you see more of: dozing travelers slumped like bag ladies all along the floor, or people speed-walking up and down the gates?

There's no need to exercise when you're on your way somewhere. Getting there is a calorie-buster itself -- from hiking down from the gate to lugging your bags back to the car.

And if you are going on vacation, you're going to get exercise aplenty once you get there, whether it's skiing down the slopes in Tahoe, swimming in the Pacific, or wandering aimlessly through the miles of halls at the Louvre.

For those who do choose to partake, I sincerely hope that showering afterwards will be mandatory. Peanut allergies and mid-flight turbulence will be the least of your worries when glistening travelers turn up in the seat next to you.

Here's what I'd much rather see someone build at the airport: tiny rooms equipped with beds.

When my late-night flight has been delayed for a few hours, I would gladly pay 10 bucks just to lie down in a dark room and snuggle up under the comforters. Just give me a wake-up call when my flight's ready to board.

Come to think of it, didn't they mention something about possibly offering massages at this new gym?

Hmmm ... Now that's one service I'm sure will fly.

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