Columnist : Turning blue over the Yellow Pages

Here's a new game suitable for all members of the family. It's cheap, simple and a veritable laugh riot.

It's called "Outwit the Yellow Pages," or "OYP."

Here's how it works: By using the fewest number of possible guesses, try to locate a listing in your local Yellow Pages. Finding the listing on the first guess is one point, on the second is two, etc.

Take any number of turns and the person with the least number of points wins. It can be a great "team" game as well. Pair up and join the fun!

Let's warm up with some randomly selected listings:

Attorneys. I'll look up "lawyers." Wrong! I'll look up "attorneys." Ding-ding! Two points.

Car mechanics. I'll look up "car mechanics." Wrong! I'll look up "car." Wrong! I'll look up "mechanics." Wrong! I'll look up "automotive." Wrong! I'll look up "automobile." Ding-ding! Five points.

Eyeglasses. I'll look up "eyeglasses." Wrong! I'll look up "eyewear." Wrong! I'll look up "glasses." Wrong! I'll look up "spectacles." Wrong! I'll look up "lenses." Wrong! I'll look up "optometrists." Ding-ding! Six points.

Skydiving. I'll look up "skydiving." Wrong! I'll look up, um, "plane jumping." Wrong! I'll look up "parachuting." Wrong! I'll look up "parachutes!" Ding-ding! Four points.

Winter gloves. I'll look up "winter gloves." Wrong! I'll look up "gloves." Wrong! I'll look up "mittens." Wrong! I'll look up "winter attire." Wrong! I'll look up "snow gear." Wrong! I'll look up "ski gloves." Wrong! I'll look up "ski equipment." Ding-ding! Seven points.

CD players. I'll look up "CD players." Wrong! I'll look up "compact disc players." Wrong! I'll look up "stereos." Ding-ding! Three points.

Footballs. I'll look up "footballs." Wrong. I'll look up "athletic equipment." Wrong! I'll look up "athletic gear." Wrong! I'll look up "athletic supplies." Wrong! I'll look up "sporting goods." Ding-ding! Five points.

Prophylactics. I'll look up "prophylactics." Wrong! I'll look up "condoms." Wrong! I'll look up "rubbers." Wrong! I'll look up "birth control services." Wrong! (In a stunning technicality, prophylactics are not specified in this listing.) I'll look up "drug stores." Wrong! I'll look up "sex aids." Wrong! I'll look up "lubricated products." Wrong! I'll look up "raincoats." Wrong! (I'm getting desperate here). I'll look up "intimate products." Wrong! I'll look up "protective accessories." Wrong!

(I have hit the 10-point limit and would have to forfeit my turn under official OYP rules).

Lawn chairs. I'll look up "lawn chairs." Wrong! I'll look up "lawn furniture." Wrong! I'll look up "patio furniture." Ding-Ding! Three points.

Yellow Pages. I'll look up "Yellow Pages." Wrong! I'll look up "phone book." Wrong! I'll look up "telephone book." Wrong! I'll look up "Sprint." Ding-ding! Four points.

That's 10 categories and I finished with 49 points. With a perfect score being 10 and a solid-to-impressive score being anything in the mid-20s, that's not too good.

Also, I'd be remiss not to note a flaw in the game. You can look up pretty much any topic in the index at the back of the Yellow Pages. But that would be cheating, wouldn't it?

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