Columnist Ron Kantowski: Will there be Senators in our house?

Ron Kantowski is sports editor of the Las Vegas Sun. Reach him at [email protected] or 259-4088. Regular sports columnist Dean Juipe is on vacation.

My first reaction when I heard the Ottawa Senators had Las Vegas on their short list of possible relocation cities (otherwise known as an idle threat designed to get a better shake on an arena lease) was how much fun it would be to write "Ron Tugnutt" on an almost-daily basis.

For those who have never sampled a Molson's or used "eh?" as a punctuation mark, he's the Senators goalie.

My second thought was what Paul Anka would make of the news.

The famous singer, who used to call Las Vegas his home away from home and still spends a lot of time here, is a native Ottawan and a devout Senators fan. If I recall a previous conversation, he's also pretty fond of the CFL Rough Riders.

It was many years ago, when Anka still lived here and the Senators couldn't beat the Mighty Ducks (of Hollywood, not Anaheim) that they first talked about moving. Anka served as a point man for a group of investors that made a serious bid to buy the franchise, if for no other reason than to keep it in the Canadian capital. Anka even called a young Sun columnist to express his devotion to the Senators.

But be advised the deal never came off, and the Senators never left.

Continuing with a special Friday edition of Page 3 notes:

* GRAY MATTER: While most of us in "the business" understood Jim Gray's line of questioning during the notorious Pete Rose interview, the average fan probably doesn't have the same appreciation for/understanding of hard-hitting journalism.

It would be like me discussing carpentry with Bob Vila. "Hey Bob, I don't care how many dowel holes it takes. Just make me a chair."

That said, and totally in hindsight, this is what I would have done had I been in Gray's loafers:

--- Toss Rose the softball -- "What's it like to share center stage with all these great players?" -- to begin the interview.

--- Then ask the tough confession question (but one time only).

--- When Rose didn't bite, I would have moved on to another topic or a follow-up question. Such as "When did you start using Minute Maid to dye your hair?"

* BC(B)S: What's the big deal with the Bowl Championship Series ratings?

First four teams in the BCS poll: Florida State, Penn State, Virginia Tech, Tennessee.

First four teams in the Associated Press (sportswriters) poll: Florida State, Penn State, Virginia Tech, Tennessee.

First four teams in the USA Today/ESPN Top 25 (coaches) poll: Florida State, Penn State, Virginia Tech, Tennessee.

And here I thought I needed a high-end computer and a degree from M.I.T. to figure out who the best college football teams are. Turns out you could do the same thing with a TV set and four fingers.

Heck, even the coaches got it right -- and they don't know anything about football.

* A NERD FROM OUR SPONSOR: During the recent Virginia Tech-Syracuse game, I caught the end of an interview with a mild-mannered Hokies student whose college football computer ratings are one of the new sets added to the BCS formula this year. This kid looked like Doogie Howser, only younger. And his work station, the place where he crunches his numbers, consisted of nothing more than a modest desk and a solitary PC in his off-campus apartment.

You got the feeling that if somebody spilled a Sprite on the keyboard, it could really have an adverse effect on the national championship.

* INFORMATION, PLEASE! Why is it the public address system at virtually every football stadium is used simply to regurgitate what just happened? We don't need to know who carried the ball and who made the tackle. We just saw it, for cryin' out loud.

But wouldn't be nice if the P.A. man would tell us something useful. Like the scores of out-of-town games. Or a status report on a star player.

When UNLV's Jeremi Rudolph left last Saturday's game against Brigham Young at Sam Boyd Stadium, the big crowd of more than 30,000 was left to wonder why. A simple announcement over the stadium bullhorn -- or even an update on the gigantic scoreboard message board -- could have cleared up the mystery.

* OH SAY, YOU CAN'T SEE: If it were any darker in the Sam Boyd Stadium parking lots you would swear they were showrooms on a Monday afternoon. UNLV should put some lights out there before the pickpockets catch on.

At least the last two games of the season will be played in broad daylight. So you can leave your miner's helmet at home.

* PASSING THE BAR: UNLV sent out a news release this week to announce it was opening a new bar called "Sports Station" on the west concourse of the Thomas & Mack Center.

It's too bad they won't be serving beers in tankards the size of oil barrels. Then there would be a good place to dunk that pretzel-looking thing on the Thomas & (sorry, the Sun computers can't turn an ampersand on its side to make a pretzel shape) Mack marquee.

* TARK SELLS: There must be a piece of glass with Jerry Tarkanian's picture under it somewhere, waiting to be broken in case of emergency.

A sure sign that a franchise or business may have trouble standing on its own is the hiring of the former UNLV basketball coach as one of its spokesmen.

The defunct Thunder put Tark on its payroll when it first came to town and any number of businesses, some well known but others not (remember that huge billboard in the Spaghetti Bowl featuring a towel-munching Tark yucking it up for some insurance company -- or was it a heath club?), have tried to capitalize on the popularity of the legendary coach to move product.

So you could have guessed that the fledgling Las Vegas Silver Bandits minor league basketball team was going to dial Tark's number sooner or later. It's sooner. Tarkanian has cut several TV spots for the Bandits, the first of which already is running.

I suppose I could tell you how to get Bandits tickets. But then that's what Tark is getting paid for.

* AND FINALLY: When it comes to providing effective coverage, UNLV defensive back Kevin Thomas has got to be the best thing going since Liz Taylor's comforter.

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