Dial File -- Steve Bornfeld: Outfoxed Fox in a ratings box

Steve Bornfeld is the Sun features editor. His television column appears Fridays. Reach him at 259-4081 or steveb@vegas.

CRAZY LIKE A FOX.

The expression traditionally applies to those who are anything but mentally unhinged, possessing the sly smarts and cagey cleverness of that impish henhouse intruder.

By and large, those people do not run networks.

In this case, the Fox really is crazy.

That's Fox, as in Fox TV. And that's crazy, as in where-the-hell-did-our-ratings-go?-crazy.

There's a shorthand for that in TV exec-speak: Suicidal.

Having relinquished its status as the hip, happenin' dude on the network street to the youth-crazed WB -- and clearly undergoing its own menopausal identity crisis as its once agile programming joints start to creak and its formerly taut TV muscles start to sag -- aging Fox is having a helluva time sneaking into the Nielsen henhouse the way it used to in its sassy salad days.

Break out the Ben-Gay. This is one network's journey from crazy like a fox to middle-age crazy.

Its woes this fall, at a glance:

Such a sad tale, and yet these tear ducts are dry.

Yes, business is business. But arrogance is arrogance. And this has been one arrogant network.

You see, once upon a time (the early '90s) in a TV land far, far away (without WB, UPN, Pax and a dozen or so cable networks) Fox discovered -- and exploited -- the pop cultural fault line that triggered television's "youthquake." And there were seismic consequences:

Slavishly catering to the under-30 crowd with teen/twentysomething- targeted programming, Fox reaped the fickle affections of kid-hungry advertisers, abandoned network TV's older, loyal viewers while inspiring elder networks NBC and ABC to do likewise (CBS nobly remained wedded to the notion that wrinkled viewers are still worthwhile) and, essentially, rewrote the rules of the TV game.

Nearly a decade later Fox does a slow fade from hip network status as the WB supplants it by co-opting the same strategy, while Fox attempts to co-opt it back and wash the gray specks out of its corporate hair.

Humbling? Hardly.

Young programming purveyor Doug Herzog -- all irreverence and attitude after leading cable's cutting-edge MTV, then guiding Comedy Central out of its quagmire with such nose-thumbing fare as "South Park" -- took over. In numerous public comments, Herzog was as close to openly contemptuous of traditional TV entertainment as he could get away with. His implication: Young viewers -- whom he was desperate to draw, thanks to the demand created by Fox in the first place -- are more discriminating, higher standard-seeking sophisticates than their parents.

In Herzog's world, sophisticates apparently watch trash and higher standards translate into bleeped profanity from the mouths of low-life characters, all of which he provided in "Action." Even the summer promos -- including one in which repulsive lead character Peter Dragon takes a swig from a water bottle and then spit-sprays it toward the camera (i.e., the viewers) -- were obnoxious.

And as post-Columbine America was re-evaluating pop culture's questionable influence -- even the hipper WB held back a mayhem-filled "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" season finale despite the pained yelps of fans -- Herzog plowed on:

Fox's fall schedule sported series with violent, sexually suggestive and just plain nasty content, including "Harsh Realm," "Malcolm in the Middle" (scheduled for mid-season) and the since-shelved "Manchester Prep" -- not to mention "Action."

And in perhaps its most infamous programming stroke, Fox has also spearheaded the noxious trend of voyeuristic reality shows, exploiting our worst instincts. Think: "World's Wildest Police Chases," "When Good Pets Go Bad," "When Animals Attack" and "When Celebrities Lose Control."

Then add II, III and IV.

Pandering has never been this putrid.

But business is business. And arrogance is arrogance.

Fox is faltering? Crazy, man.

Croon a Tune: See it. Hear it. Smoke it.

All three apply -- although only two aren't hazardous to your health -- regarding last week's Croon-a-Tune, which was Elmer Bernstein's stirring, big-sky theme song for the 1960 classic western film "The Magnificent Seven," later turned into a regrettably short-lived CBS series.

But the bigger question was: What was the product associated with that tune, one of the most recognizable commercial themes in TV history? The bigger answer was: Marlboro cigarettes.

There were lots of calls and lots of answers -- ranging from "The Big Valley" to "Bonanza" to "Gunsmoke" to "How the West Was Won" to the "Beef -- it's what's for dinner!" ad (which actually used Aaron Copland's "Rodeo," not to mention the late Robert Mitchum's no-nonsense narration) -- but here are the Tune Crooners who were absolutely s-s-s-s-s-s-smokin' (sorta speak) on the Marlboro question:

Robin Skelley (who even identified 'ol Elmer as the composer), Mark Ritchie, Roberta Wells, Joe Lacy (who also gave Mr. Bernstein -- Elmer, not Leonard -- his due), Peter Green (who was not only another Elmer identifier but also credited the Japanese inspiration for the "Magnificent Seven," 1954's "The Seven Samurai"), Ed Boucher, Linda Noel, Tony Varchetto and Sol "Sweet Cheeks" Rosenberg.

And while you're still s-s-s-s-s-s-smokin', direct your nicotine-stained fingers toward 259-4012 -- it will pick up after four rings -- for this week's Croon-a-Tune quiz.

Honor us with your answer on the telephone, get honored in the newspaper.

But take your time, because ...

Closing Credits: Dial File is Dialing Out for the next couple of weeks -- vacation with a Capital V -- so you'll have plenty of time to solve the above Croon-a-Tune conundrum.

People in normal jobs occasionally need some down time to just kick back, relax, watch some TV.

And people in this job just need some down time from the down time.

See ya on the up side.

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