That's Life -- Steve Bornfeld: Riffin' on Ricky and Sandy

Steve Bornfeld is the Sun features editor. His column appears Fridays. Reach him at [email protected] or 259-4081.

Rick and Sandy finally brought us to the dance. We're part of the cool kids clique now.

We're a member of the club -- junior members, to be sure, but still hobnobbing with the likes of club royalty: O.J., Lyle and Erik, Tonya and Nancy, John and Lorena, Joey and Amy, even -- dare we say it? -- Bill and Monica. And Bill and Gennifer. And Bill and Paula.

In an age where TV obscenely magnifies the sensational, scandal has become our national currency, the way we separate the chic from the chic-not.

While Las Vegas' flirty reputation for delicious decadence -- "an adult playground," "Sin City" -- has always been good for a few laughs, a little lewdness and a lot of loose cash, it doesn't buy you entry into the upper echelon of celebrity-dom in a Jerry Springer-worshipping nation.

But with the Binion murder case basically in the history books, Las Vegas can finally flash the kind of cash that signifies status in Tabloid America: A big fat wad of scandal.

Sandy and Rick paid our admission fee by cooking up a case of murder, generously seasoned with sex, larceny and drugs, and served up piping hot to a scandal-loving populace.

Does it matter that the Murphy-Tabish mess hardly pierced the national consciousness despite the local media's near-desperation to point out the presence of scattered international media when the verdicts were read?

Nah. The trial was covered on Court TV. Geraldo talked about it occasionally. And they used the words "topless dancer" a lot. ... Good enough. Stamp their ticket. Let 'em into the club.

Does it matter that -- unlike O.J., Lyle and Erik, Tonya and Nancy, and Joey and Amy (thrice!) -- Sandy and Rick probably won't merit their own TV movie?

Nah. They'll probably be downgraded to an episode of the ripped-from-the-headlines "Law & Order" -- but a very special, two-hour "Law & Order"! (Casting suggestion: Brian Dennehy as Judge Bonaventure.) ... Good enough. Stamp their ticket. Let 'em into the club.

Does it matter that the Binion business didn't trigger larger societal debates on racial divisions (O.J.), sexual abuse (John and Lorena), family dysfunction (Lyle and Erik), statutory rape (Joey and Amy) and even charges of perjury and misconduct by the Leader of the Free World (Bill and Monica)?

Nah. Sandy and Rick were about simple greed. But "greed," as the inimitable-yet-fictional Gordon Gekko memorably put it, "is good." ... Good enough. Stamp their ticket. Let 'em into the club.

Does it matter that the Binion prosecutors didn't set fashion chat rooms abuzz with Marcia Clark-style coifs and sexy frocks? That John Momot never uttered "if the panties don't fit, you must acquit"? That there were no Dancing Bonaventures kick-stepping for Jay Leno on "The Tonight Show"?

Nah. Sandy is a dish. ... Good enough. Stamp their ticket. Let 'em into the club.

And as a guy named Groucho once said: "I don't want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member."

Here's hoping that someday our membership lapses.

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