Friday, March 8, 2002 | 8:57 a.m.
Rated: R for strong violence, pervasive language and brief sexuality.
Running time: 90 minutes.
Someday someone will program a retrospective of police "buddy" pictures, from "Lethal Weapon" to "Bad Boys." Three solid days of grizzled veterans, young hotshots, grudging loyalties and dialogue along the lines of, "The chief wants to see you two, pronto," with no stops for rest, food or character development.
Until someone fronts the dough for such a festival, we'll have to content ourselves with "All About the Benjamins," which is loaded with so many of those aforementioned cliches that it's almost experimental in nature -- some sort of test, to determine how long it takes a subject to spot an archetype.
Or maybe it's a drinking game: take a sip whenever someone says "we ain't partners," and drain the glass whenever the standard Euro-villain says something stupid and familiar ("You're like a cockroach").
Ice Cube stars as Bucum (pronounced "book 'em") Jackson, a young bounty hunter who yearns for fame and fortune. We know this because he collects expensive tropical fish, and because he tells us.
"There's a whole lot of money out there," he grumbles to his girlfriend. "I just gotta put my name on it."
Also trying to get rich is one of Bucum's bounties, motormouthed con man Reggie Wright (Mike Epps). He wins the Florida State Lottery the day Bucum catches up with him, and in the ensuing chase loses the ticket in a van belonging to jewel thieves. The thieves fire a few shots at Bucum, which enrages him and forces him into a partnership with Wright. You should be able to guess what happens from that point.
Cube co-wrote this lightweight action-comedy with Ronald Lang. It's a disappointing venture for the rapper, who has proven his mettle as an actor ("Three Kings," "Boyz N the Hood") and writer (he also co-wrote the funny "Friday"). He's told better stories in his raps, and with more conviction. He doesn't believe Wright and Bucum could become friends any more than we do.
Epps, for his own part, needs to learn when to do less. His frenetic performance isn't funny or ingratiating, and for most of the film you wish that Bucum would make good on his threat to ditch him. More palatable is Wright's girlfriend, Gina (Eva Mendes), who tries to shut him up, to little avail.
As the characters run around Miami, trying to catch up with the money, you wear right out. "All About the Benjamins" doesn't carry you so much as drag you, and even its all-too-typical Scottish villain Williamson (Tommy Flanagan) seems close to drifting off through much of his screen time.
Perhaps he's dreaming of a buddy film of his own -- a movie where the villain isn't English, the actions of the characters aren't telegraphed, and the comedy is actually funny.
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