Columnist Sandy Thompson: Effects of brutal murder last a lifetime

Sandy Thompson is vice president/associate editor of the Las Vegas Sun. She can be reached at [email protected] or (702) 259-4025.

ANNIE GRIEGO says she knew her daughter was going to die, she just didn't know when.

Her daughter, Donna Hernandez, was repeatedly threatened by her ex-husband, Fernando. It was only a matter of time, Annie says, before he killed Donna.

On Oct. 6, 1999, her worst fears came true. Fernando broke into Donna's home where he bludgeoned and strangled her to death -- in front of their then 3-year-old daughter, Anna. Donna was 38.

"Our lives will never be the same," Annie says. "It's been very hard. ... We're surviving. What can we do? She's gone and we have to go on."

Anna, who just turned 6, has been in counseling since witnessing her mother's brutal murder. She's doing OK, Annie says, but there are days when all Anna wants is her Mommy.

Annie, 67, and her 75-year-old husband are caring for Anna. "She keeps us going," Annie says, adding that she volunteers twice a week at Anna's school.

Since Donna's murder, Annie has had to work through a lot of anger and frustration. "I gave up going to church for a while. Where was God when all this was happening to Donna?" Now she attends church every Sunday.

She also was frustrated that Donna had obtained numerous protection orders against Fernando but they could not save her. "Donna went to court a lot to stop ... Fernando. The judge would not listen," Annie says. "Judges should listen more."

Family Court is remembering Donna, who worked as a court clerk, by naming a special pilot program for her. "Donna's House," which had been scheduled to open last November, will formally open April 4 at a site near Torrey Pines and Sahara. The center will provide for the safe exchange of children in certain contentious custody and domestic violence cases.

Annie and Anna plan to attend the open house. A portrait of Donna and Anna, which was used by the prosecution at Fernando's trial, will be donated to Donna's House. It will be a grim reminder of how life can be cruelly snuffed out by domestic violence.

"Domestic violence doesn't start the day you get married, but when you start dating," Annie says. "When he says you should not be close to your family, that you should give up your friends, that you should dress a certain way. ... Schools should start addressing this with students."

Another sign, Annie says, is when an abusive parent tries to keep the child from the other parent. Also, be wary if an abusive mate suddenly becomes "nice" -- he/she wants something and will do anything to get it.

"You don't know what it's like until you go through it yourself," Annie says.

So far this year there have been two domestic violence-related murders in Las Vegas. Just last month a 35-year-old man was charged in the stabbing death of his ex-wife. The couple's 6-year-old son was in the house at the time.

Annie hopes Donna's House will alleviate some of the problems when hostile parents exchange their children for visitation. Family Court judges and domestic violence commissioners will have 112 slots to refer to the program on a weekly basis. There also will be slots available for supervised visitation.

Many of the cases referred to Donna's House will involve domestic violence. And that brings up a larger issue: Why is a parent who is abusive, harasses and stalks the other parent, or has domestic violence convictions, granted visitation in the first place? Maybe if the Family Court system focused more on the rights of children than parents, that would change.

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