Wednesday, Nov. 23, 2005 | 7:16 a.m.
Tom Gorman's column runs Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. He can be reached at [email protected] or at (702) 259-2310.
Let us bow our heads and pray in thanksgiving:
Thank you, God, for the bounty of affordable and healthy food at our supermarkets.
(But why are supermarkets so greedy that they put slot machines by the front door, preying on those among us who are addicted?)
Thank you, Lord, for protecting us from moron motorists who blast through intersections two or three seconds after the traffic signal has turned red.
(But hey, can you help us find the money to hire more traffic cops or install video cameras to photograph the punks who ignore red lights?)
Krishna, thank you for giving our casino executives the wisdom to not get into the grocery business, preying on those gamblers among us who are addicted to food.
(I mean, that would be as immoral as a supermarket putting slot and video poker machines by the front door, unfairly teasing gambling addicts who shouldn't have to confront temptation just because they need some eggs or bread.)
Yahweh, thank you for protecting us as best you can as we drive over the hump to Pahrump on perhaps Nevada's most dangerous highway.
(But can you please put the heat on Nevada DOT to install lighting, guard rails and a lot more pavement buttons? Why is it so difficult to make a few basic safety improvements?)
Dear Goddess, thank you for bringing such wonderful talent to Las Vegas. The singers. The dancers. The magicians and musicians. The acrobats, the comics and the Elvi.
(But oh Goddess, why do we put people behind bars for assaulting others, and then reward men in the ring who pummel one another with the hopes of drawing blood or knocking each other out cold? This is pleasing entertainment?)
Messiah, thank you for public art alongside our highways (although I wish there was more paint between the traffic lanes).
(And, by the way, how would you want us to punish vandals who spray graffiti on our public art? Would you expect us to keep it civilized?)
Abba, thank you for opposable thumbs, so we can more easily hold a martini glass.
(But Abba, what sort of civilized person would deprive a fellow human of his thumb, no matter what the crime? Surely not someone who would aspire to be an exemplary moral leader and role model for our children.)
Jehova, thank you for helping the city develop new business revenue such as the downtown Furniture Mart.
(But why do you inspire architects to design a building that is so monolithic and with such small windows that it looks like a jail?)
Allah, thank you for technology to recycle water, including sewage treatment plants that are safely buffered from homes by golf courses.
(So why, Allah, would our elected officials let the golf course owner convert the land to a high-profit home development, apparently costing the city tens of millions of dollars? That proposed deal has as many offensive odors as the stuff going into the sewage plant.)
Dear Supreme Being, thank you for the Runnin' Rebels basketball team.
(And please forgive UNLV's football team. Let's just remember that it's only a sport, and hopefully the boys did well in the classroom.)
Dear Father, thank you for traffic signals that have left-turn arrows and which also allow left turns on a green light if there is no oncoming traffic.
(But, Father, why do so many drivers refuse to turn left on a green light when there's no oncoming traffic?)
Dear Redeemer, thank you for democracy, citizen participation, political engagement and the opportunity to debate the merits of next year's gubernatorial candidates.
(But help me keep straight which one is Gibson and which one is Gibbons. Thank goodness for Dinah Teetus.)
And finally, God, thank you for Las Vegas' diversity. This Thanksgiving, let us give thanks for our multitude of cultures, opinions and Cirque du Soleil shows.
archive
