Thursday, April 10, 2008 | 2 a.m.
I wouldn’t say I have totally embraced modern technology. But I do hold hands with it. Still, every time the topic comes up, I am reminded of my stepdaughter racing over to show her mom and me her new SUV and all its bells and whistles. She said it even had this hidden sensor that tells her when it’s raining, which could come in handy on the two or three days it actually does.
She was so enthusiastic about the hidden sensor that I didn’t want to spoil it by saying that when I want to know if it’s raining outside, I just check the windshield.
This sort of reminds me of Major League Baseball’s TV package. When I was a kid, I got to watch virtually every Chicago Cubs game on TV. For free. Now, only one in three is on free TV. Sometimes, the games are on pay TV, but only in Chicago. Sometimes, egad, the White Sox are on.
Last year, when the Cubs were trying to overhaul the Brewers atop the NL Central, I bought the Internet package for September. I think it cost $14.95. Not exactly free, but certainly cheaper than what it costs to watch Alfonso Soriano wave at a curveball in the dirt from the bleachers.
I remember clicking my mouse for a key game against the Giants — now there’s something you don’t say every day — and getting the dreaded black screen. At first, I thought I needed more RAM or something. Or maybe it was raining at Pac Bell Park, or whatever they’re calling it these days, and I didn’t pay for the hidden sensor.
Nope. The game was blacked out. It’s roughly 570 miles from the Stratosphere Tower to the Golden Gate Bridge, yet the Giants are allowed to claim Las Vegas on their territorial map. So are the A’s. And the Dodgers. And the Angels. And the Padres. And the Diamondbacks (which is one more reason to detest them).
It’s a good thing the Bad News Bears disbanded after they broke training and went to Japan. Or they’d be blacked out, too.
Oh, I almost forgot. When the Cubs played on Saturday afternoon, those games also were blacked out. This is what happens when FOX and TBS pay $3 billion to sort of perpetuate the memory of Curt Gowdy and the Game of the Week.
Which means for my $14.95, I basically got to see the Cubs lose three in a row against the Marlins, because it’s 2,570 miles — or slightly more than 1 inch on baseball’s territorial map — from the Stratosphere Tower to Gloria Estefan’s front porch.
When it comes to MLB’s antiquated blackout policy, nobody has it worse than Las Vegas. Except our sister city, Des Moines. It’s just as bad there because six other teams — the Cubs, White Sox, Brewers, Cardinals, Royals and Twins — get to claim Iowa on their territorial maps.
Supposedly, Common Sense and For Love of the Game are up and throwing in the bullpen. Yahoo Sports reported this week that at next month’s owners meetings, all 30 teams are expected to “deliver reports outlining the territories in which they currently broadcast games or have concrete plans to in the future.” Supposedly, MLB will redraw its territorial rights maps based on these reports.
What that means is anybody’s guess. Mine is that if the Giants and the A’s do not offer TV games in Las Vegas, theirs would not be blacked out on pay-per-view. But that’s only a guess. And last year, it would have been wrong.
In May a virtually identical story appeared on ESPN.com. The exact words of that one: “At this week’s owners meeting, MLB’s central office will push for clubs to reexamine — and, as necessary, redefine — their broadcast territories. They want to give clubs a year to justify their current broadcast territories, based on where their games are actually available or where they have a reasonable prospect of becoming available.”
What was it that Herman’s Hermits said? Second verse, same as the first.
Maybe the check’s really in the mail this time. But I kinda doubt it.
More from ESPN: “If Oakland has no justification for continuing to stake a claim to Oregon, for example, then it’s out of Oregon.”
As I said, that was a year ago. Oakland is still not out of Oregon. And I’m still not watching Alfonso Soriano wave at curveballs in San Francisco. But Major League Baseball is still putting out these stories about lifting blackouts.
So I called Don Logan, the Las Vegas 51s president, for a clarification. Surely, Las Vegas’ Mr. Baseball would have an encouraging word to share with a fellow baseball fan.
Swing and a miss.
“I’m afraid the only way this thing is going to get fixed is if guys like you continue to bring it to the forefront,” he said.
Where’s my Louisville Slugger? Bring that pine tar rag, too. There’s work to be done.
First up: Baseball blackouts.
On deck: The designated hitter.
In the hole: Hidden sensors on SUVs.
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