Ron Kantowski knows just the guy to give new Lady Rebels head coach Kathy Olivier some pointers for succeeding in Las Vegas — himself

By Ron Kantowski

Wednesday, April 23, 2008 | 2 a.m.

When Regina Miller was run off as coach of the Lady Rebels in March, the school’s athletic department issued a 46-word news release to announce it — 4.6 words for each of her 10 years on the job, or one word for every 3.8 victories.

On Tuesday, UNLV issued a 565-word news release — 10 whole paragraphs — to announce Kathy Olivier as the new Lady Rebels coach. That’s two words for each of her wins in 15 seasons as head coach at UCLA.

See? She’s already raising the bar. Even if the news release failed to mention her coaching record.

“We’re gonna do everything we can to make everyone in this room proud to be UNLV Runnin’ Rebels,” said Olivier, who had a 232-208 record at UCLA before resigning to accept an administrative position within the Bruins’ athletic department after going 16-15 this year.

She also said a bunch of other stuff that I didn’t write down. Then the “press” conference ended and a bunch of people, some of whom remembered her from her playing days as a Lady Rebel but most of whom wouldn’t know her from Sir Laurence Olivier, went up to her and smiled and wished her well, because that is what people do when you are 0-0 as the head coach.

Give UNLV Athletic Director Mike Hamrick credit for making what appears to be a good hire. Even though Olivier was gently nudged toward the door at UCLA, she wouldn’t have lasted 15 years at a Pac-10 school if she didn’t know something about the X’s and the O’s — and, just as important, recruiting some players who can execute them.

Then again, this ain’t the Pac-10. Just ask John Robinson.

No, what the new coach really needs is some good old-fashioned advice from somebody who has been following the Lady Rebels, or at least checking the sports briefs for their scores, for the past 21 years.

Somebody who will give it to her straight.

Somebody who knows the difference between a TV package and a cash grab.

Somebody who knows that around here winning isn’t the only thing, especially during football season.

So here it is, coach. A day late and a dozen wins short.

• You say you resigned at UCLA and they say you resigned at UCLA. But the associate athletic director also said, “It’s about winning championships here ... on a frequent basis,” which implies that you didn’t win them frequently enough. But that’s OK. The Atlanta Hawks didn’t want Lon Kruger anymore, either.

• Did you notice all those guys with the wrinkled shirts and rumpled trousers at your news conference? That’s the local media. If you didn’t get to meet each one, don’t worry about it, because that was the last time you’re gonna see most of them, anyway.

• Clip the roster of the local girls high school all-star team out of the newspaper. Offer a scholarship to each name on the list. If half accept, you will win a bunch of games.

• Teach your players how to shoot free throws.

• And how to get back on defense.

• And how to throw a bounce pass.

• (Upon further review, unless Bob Cousy takes the Colorado State job, forget the bounce pass.)

• Yeah, I know Cox Pavilion sort of looks like a high school gym because they ran out of money and didn’t follow the blueprint. That said, try not to criticize it in public. Do not, like your athletic director did, threaten to switch to DirecTV. Because the last time I checked, its name wasn’t on the building.

• Besides, riding the freight elevator to get from the dressing room to the playing floor is kinda cool. (Although you may not want to use that as a recruiting tool.)

• But the next time Utah visits, tell Lady Utes coach Elaine Elliot the freight elevator is broken and that her players will have to take the stairs. Who knows, she might fall for it.

• This one is important: Do not get on the bad side of your basketball operations director. That’s what your predecessor did and you know what happened to her.

• You know how at most schools the marketing department comes up with novel promotions and other creative ways to put spectators in the seats at women’s basketball games? Well, don’t expect that here. But don’t be discouraged. If you go 28-4 and B.J. Thomas isn’t playing the Orleans Showroom, you can still draw 600 or 700 people.

• Back in the day, Geno Auriemma brought UConn out here to play. Get him on the horn and ask where the heck he has been.

• Try Pat Summitt while you’re at it. It can’t hurt to ask. She has boosters who travel, too.

• You know that old guy who sits at the end of the scorer’s table? That’s no ordinary old guy. That’s Bob Blum. He’s your play-by-play man. Oh, I forgot. He was here when you played for the Lady Rebels in ’79.

• And I’ll bet he remembers the bounce pass.

• After home games, do not make the one reporter who bothered to show up wait 45 minutes for a quote, as your predecessor sometimes did. Just say something about your team’s intensity. He will nod his head and write it down. Then you can go into the dressing room and talk to your players for as long as you want.

• I couldn’t help but notice that you didn’t make any crazy promises during your introduction. This shows that you are a smart woman.

Or have met the UNLV football coach.