Wednesday, April 30, 2008 | 2 a.m.
In an effort to make this week’s race at Richmond more competitive, NASCAR is considering parking Kyle Busch’s Toyota and assigning him to another vehicle manufactured in Japan.
Perhaps if he drove a rickshaw it would level the playing field — er, front straightaway.
NASCAR has three major touring series and the precocious Busch, who turns 23 Friday, has won races in each. In a sport where one victory is considered a major accomplishment, Busch has seven — two each in trucks and the marquee Sprint Cup division and three in the Nationwide Series.
If there are two things Busch has proved during the early part of the racing season, the first is that Hendrick Motorsports was a fool to let him go. The second is that there isn’t anything with four wheels that he can’t drive.
Including the vehicles he grew up around in Las Vegas.
Gentlemen (and Tony Stewart), start your taxicabs. Kyle’s about to take you for a ride.
Orleans Zamboni
Top speed: 9 mph
Comment: The Orleans Zamboni is sponsored by Las Vegas Motor Speedway, Kyle’s hometown track, so those Carolina Hurricane fans he trades paint with wouldn’t stand a chance in the crease.
The Deuce (Regional Transportation Commission of Southern Nevada double-decker bus)
Top speed: 75 mph
Comment: Maybe Dario Franchitti, who hails from Scotland, might be able to give Kyle a go behind the wheel of a rig usually identified with Great Britain. But the ol’ chap is injured.
Ford Crown Victoria taxi
Top speed: 129 mph
Comment: It costs 20 cents for each 1/11 mile of a taxi ride in Las Vegas. So if you wanted to ride with Kyle at the Daytona 500 it would cost $1,100, not counting the drop-off fee. But at least you wouldn’t miss your flight.
Red Bull Mini Cooper
Top speed: 135 mph
Comment: The little Red Bull car will go 135 mph. I’ll bet if Kyle drank what was in the can on top, he’d peg 185.
Lincoln Town Car stretch limousine
Top Speed: 130 mph
Comment: Maybe his cornering speed at Bristol wouldn’t be that hot. But the little black hat would be cooler than his helmet.
Las Vegas billboard truck
Top speed: Not nearly fast enough
Comment: These trucks are a nuisance, because they cause congestion. Kyle’s right foot could take care of that.
Las Vegas Monorail
Top speed: 50 mph
Comment: Kyle will drive his car until the wheels fall off. The Monorail doesn’t have wheels, but all of its other parts have fallen off.
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