Friday, Feb. 15, 2008 | 2:01 a.m.
A snapshot of the Gibbons Lack of Administration:
Inside a large office in the Capitol, state government Chief Operating Officer Dianne Cornwall is affixing a large sticker to the wall. It declares, in large red letters, “It’s the ‘no new taxes,’ stupid!”
Gubernatorial Chief of Staff Mike Dayton looks on and nods his head before asking Cornwall, “I forget: Who’s in charge today, you or me?”
Cornwall shakes her head and retorts, “You know I am, Mike. It’s Thursday. You were top dog yesterday. This is a great system switching off every day, almost as good as Dawn’s original idea for us to be co-chiefs of staff.”
“But I’m still the chief,” Dayton reminds her. “Don’t forget that.”
“Not today, Mike,” Cornwall replies with evident satisfaction. “And remember the governor created a new title for me COO. Looks great on my business cards. I run the state.”
“Whatever,” Dayton smiles through clenched teeth. “What’s on the agenda?”
Cornwall pulls out a piece of paper and says, “Well, we’ve driven off three high-level staffers this week the head of the Agriculture Department, the Public Safety guy who was a crony of the governor’s and Melissa, who talked to the press too much.”
“Well, she was the press secretary,” Dayton says. “But we don’t need the media. I think our coverage has been pretty good. So I’m glad we have now eliminated both press positions.”
“We agree on that one,” Cornwall says. “It’s like those two people who worked here whom we drove away Tray Abney and Steve Robinson. They were actually talking to legislators and had their respect. We can’t have that. We might actually get something done that way.”
A knock on the door, and Gov. Jim Gibbons walks in. He glances at the sticker with the red-lettered slogan. His face begins to redden and he glares at his aides. “Who are you calling stupid?” he says, seething.
“No, no, Governor,” Dayton says. “That’s a play on the theme of the Clinton campaign.”
“You know,” Cornwall adds, “It’s the economy, stupid.”
Gibbons looks even angrier. “I know it’s the economy, Dianne,” the governor says, sneering. “I am not stupid. But this is not a crisis and I won’t say it is. So we have to cut the budget by $500 million or more and we lead the nation in foreclosures. Big deal. Anything else I need to know today?”
Cornwall and Dayton shake their heads, and the governor leaves.
“On to the day’s business,” Cornwall says. “Anymore highly questionable appointments or good people to force out of state government today?” she asks, laughing.
Dayton chuckles and pulls out a piece of paper. “Let’s see, we lost three this week, and that’s a lot, even for us.”
“Some people just don’t understand what we are doing here,” Cornwall says. “We are tearing down government, brick by brick, person by person.”
A knock and Gibbons enters again.
“Someone named Terry Lanni is calling, guys,” the governor says plaintively. “Do I need to talk to him?”
“Nah,” Dayton quickly replies. “Have them take a message.”
“Yes, Governor,” Cornwall says. “He needs to know who’s boss. And that’s Sheldon, of course.”
“Funny, Dianne,” Gibbons says, smiling. “Dianne? Why aren’t you laughing? That was a joke, right?”
“Well, Governor, you did take philanthropist Larry Ruvo’s name off that mansion building and replace it with ‘Property of the Venetian,’” Cornwall replies.
“And you do have that special phone line in your office that hooks you up with him,” Dayton reminds his boss.
“All that gets him is access,” the governor says. “Just because he has my number doesn’t mean he controls me.”
“Of course not,” Dayton and Cornwall say in unison as the governor walks out.
Cornwall looks at Dayton and asks, “What else is pressing?”
“Well, we need to staff that fusion center in Carson City,” Dayton says. “I know a few of Dawn’s friends who want jobs, so let’s ask her for the names.”
“Sounds good,” Cornwall replies. “And you need to call Sen. Raggio to find out what our latest budget-cutting plan will be.”
“We’re having dinner tonight,” Dayton replies. “He thinks most of the money can come from Clark County. And Sheldon is fine with that, so long as we take some room tax money from the convention authority. By the way, remember I am in charge tomorrow. And I have a sticker of my own to put on the wall.”
“Oh yeah? What does it say?” Cornwall asks.
Dayton smiles and says, “Politics is the art of subtraction.”
“Nobody does it better than us,” Cornwall says.
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